It’s one thing to be born into a family and not be able to choose who you are around. It’s another to consistently pick the wrong tribe and blame it on others.
Often times the one you choose reflects who you are. That can change from time to time. When I was in college not all of my college friends reflect who I am today! I’ve changed. My tribe has changed as well. It’s very rare to be who you are through all phases in life. Life changes and so does your taste in friends. It’s okay to acknowledge when something no longer works! It doesn’t mean you are stuck up or that you are being mean to people just because you are choosing to expand your circle.
Who’s in the circle?
Ask yourself why you hang with whom you hang with! Do they build you? Are they one sided? You know the friends who want you to uplift every achievement who won’t even say congratulations to even the biggest or smallest of things! Does your circle include those who make you genuinely feel loved? Do they remember the important days? Do they make you feel like you need to step up! Are they truly in your corner? If you answer anything in the negative about your circle it’s time to change the circle a bit!
Sometimes instead of wrecking shop and upsetting the balance you could especially for friends who don’t do as much let the relationship have a natural fizzle! This means you could simply allow the lack of communication etc. continue! After awhile it will fade and you can let it fade or you can have a conversation and speak genuinely to the person to let them know you are just going into separate directions! This is for adults! Meaning kid and kid like folks who want to play games this isn’t for you. To be an adult means that at times you need to have uncomfortable conversations. It doesn’t feel good to end things but it’s necessary.
Cut the Cord
There are times when you can’t let things naturally progress. You have to be super clear about the intentions and cut folks off. You can do this a number or ways. I like direct conversations. Sometimes you can talk it out and find ways to mend even at the moment of ending it! However there is no need to keep people in your life who don’t even serve a greater good for you. Why? What’s the point? I get some folks have been in your life but longevity doesn’t equate to meaningful forever stay. Some folks are super mean and they don’t think you will ever walk away because you haven’t in the past. In 2020 we need to have conversations about what works and what doesn’t and it’s okay to be the adult that you are and acknowledge it’s time to cut the cord. You can wish folks well and distance yourself! You don’t have to be mean to tell people you are done!!
Do you get mad and easily irritated and take that out on your friends? Sometimes it’s not your tribe that’s the issue it could be you! Sorry to say that there are some who tear their friend circle with their own hands. You can’t be so demanding. Every group has a natural leader or two! Just because you are the leader doesn’t mean you can demean others. If you are the cause of many frictions deal with you! I’m the type that looks in first before I point out to others! You might really need to do a self check in how you act with those around you.
So it’s one thing to not be able to pick family but you need to work on your tribe! Your tribe is all about who you allowed into it! You can’t get mad at the tribe you picked!
Let’s clear the path for those around us to help us to be our best versions!!! Let’s define the tribe!