Don’t ask, don’t tell!

So you know the new year is coming.  And all of the let’s lose weight, do better, etc.  Lets be real even if you are tired of the new years resolution it’s still a good look to want and aspire for change.

One thing that I’ve noticed a lot of especially in music these days is the salute to side chicks and uplifting men in our lives who we know are not uplifting us and degrading us.

Now if you are reading this and saying to yourself yes get ’em.  No hold all the breaks.  Before we can go after the men we have to deal with us.  I say us because no matter how much change you or I have made we all have had some man lie to us and let our insecurity let us fall for the foolery.  So married, single or divorced it don’t change the past.

If you have a male in your life and I mean a real man in your life be that of a father, brother, cousin, etc they will tell you that some men out there will tell you what you want to hear.  Yes even and especially the I love yous.

Think about the times you heard all the stories I’m sure you could write a book.  Think about what you felt like when you discovered that with all the best intentions you were played.

What questions were you asking when in your gut you knew it was a lie.  What investigation did you complete.  Some men will say when they get caught is that the woman didn’t ask the right questions therefore they didn’t tell the truth.  Gasp, but I asked him if he was with someone.   He didn’t lie. He wasn’t with someone.  Yes unfortunately he wasn’t with you or the other women he was with. 

Ladies if there’s ever a time to invest in ourself the time is now.  It’s beyond just a new years theme that will die if you aren’t aware and doing daily things to keep it going.  If there’s ever a time to say I got to leave this dude alone-the time is now.

Please don’t go another minute investing in another outside influence that isn’t building you. 

Please don’t tell me about how you cant stand new years resolutions.  In this world filled with so much hurt let people fill the sense of renewal.   The new year of wiping the slate clean is something to look forward to just like some look forward to christmas. 

Please ask the correct questions to the man in your life.  There’s always that little voice that speaks but you got to be willing to listen to it.  If you are the self titled side chick do yourself the favor of obtaining a man that literally makes you feel like you can conquer any and everything.  Let that man also be only for you.  

Change the old boys way of the don’t ask, don’t tell it doesn’t just apply to the military.  Don’t get played.  In spite of what you see on reality tv where women make millions looking stupid the real world is far from that fake glamorous life they parade.  There’s nothing cute about getting hurt over and over again.  It doesn’t matter your age and stage we all want real love so don’t waste your time and energy.  Ask the right questions and trust yourself. 

Toitime a place for empowerment-hurry back!

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