Im so glad that I’ve had a moment of temporary mental fallback.
Yes even some of us who are brilliant at helping others and giving advice need a little pick me up at times.
I’ve always said sometimes a step back does wonders. Once I got to college and started living on my own and figuring out life I found myself in so many things. I’m a person that doesn’t do well with change that affects stability. You might be thinking doesn’t all change mess with stability? My answer is no. I can multitask like no other so if I wake up and my kids are sick, I have a meeting, and nothing at home is cleaned I’m ok. However throw me in a situation where I feel like I can’t manage or things look dire I don’t do well.
Yes I can admit my weakness. This issue has caused issues for me in relationships. It also causes me to be on a defence with whatever is standing in my way of stability.
When I had my son in 2012 I went through post partum. It was one of the hardest things to date to deal with. I didn’t know anyone in my personal circle who dealt with it. It took a lot out of me. There were so many times when during an episode of a rage and fit that I could see me telling myself to knock it off and snap out of it that it broke me watching this new me I wasn’t prepared for. It’s not easy to snap out of it. I can’t even think looking back at it now how I thought that way.
What I did during that time was got help. I spoke up for myself and didn’t wait for someone to do it for me. I was so bitter and angry at my fiance at the time my now husband because he was supposed to fix it. He was supposed to make it better. But no he was supposed to be there as a support not as the fixer.
People who deal with these issues are being real. Sometimes a gentle smile can be all that is needed. I have a friend who was recently diagnosed with a mental illness. People had no idea whenever I saw her I would just encourage her to take care of her and that I would always be there. She confided in me later that she was having an episode and was glad she sought help.
To a person who is secretly going through an anxiety, depression or mental illness please know you aren’t alone. Also know that you may not find support in your inner circle. You have to speak up. Go to your doctor, tell someone you trust, do whatever you need to do but don’t go through alone.
I’m proud of myself for getting the help and although I’ve had another child since my son I was equipped with the tools to be sure I didn’t go through the same way with my daughter and I also know that if it were to happen again how to ask for help.
Just because you are strong doesn’t mean that you can’t have issues. Don’t let someone make you feel bad about your issues but take the time to deal with them.
Why this article and now? It’s holiday time and suicide is at an all time high. People are hurting. People need love and understanding. Don’t down someone who opens up to you about their problems. If you aren’t equipped to help then assist the person with ways of achieving their happy state.
Now I’m not going through post partum. I do however from time to time suffer with anxiety. It’s bad at times but I do what I need to do to take care of myself.
Be a voice for yourself. Be an advocate for you and don’t be ashamed. I would rather get a bunch of side eye from a spouse, parent or friend then to live in agony and let the issue overtake you.
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