Ask Toi: How do you I get my confidence back after losing my job?

Well this is a good question.  A job is usually not something someone does for a hobby.  A job equals income and an  income allows us to live our lives. Losing a job can be a great upset and blow to an ego.

To answer you let me tell you about a situation I encountered.  In 2011 I lost my job.  The company was downsizing and outsourcing.  I was devastated to learn that out of my small department I was the only one let go with the other 20-30 employees throughout the company.  I just had a daughter in 2009 who had severe asthma and was a preemie.  Even though she was almost 2 years old she still had so many medical issues and I wondered immediately how I would survive.

I ended up a week before getting engaged so the best thing for me to do was to move with my fiance.  I also found out in the same week of losing my job that I was pregnant as well.  So no job, no real income, an asthmatic baby and another baby on the way.  Sure, I got a good severance package and automatic unemployment but all I kept thinking was why me.  Who was going to help me.  Yes my fiance was there and definitely stepped up but for me as an individual I felt lost.

I actually accompanied with postpartum went into depression.  I thought to myself I need to work.  In my case it made sense to be a stay at home mom for some time.  I still felt inadequate.  I still wanted to bring in an income.  You say you have help and that is key in today’s market but I understand.

Here’s what I did:

When I was ready after a few tears shed, I worked looking for a job as a full-time job.  Yes looking for a job and putting real-time in for the search is key.  Nothing in life is free or handed to you.  You have to be willing to get up shower, get dressed, and hit the pavement.

Old school paper search

I would get the Sunday paper and apply to all jobs I qualified for immediately. Applying on Sundays was helpful as on monday when jobs did their resume shuffle mine would be in the midst.  This would also be a perfect time to revamp your resume.  Take your resume to your local career assistance office.  They usually offer these services for free.

Online searching

Secondly don’t be afraid to look at the job market differently.  If you were a receptionist don’t just goggle receptionist.  There are so many ways a receptionist is listed that you want open your mind and not limit how you look at what you once did.

Enroll into sites such as Careerbuilders or jobs today to name a view.  You have to be willing to search these jobs daily as well as apply.  Some you can do a quick apply with an app on your phone.  Others you will have to sit and log in and apply.  Which ever way be willing to do this daily.


If you wanted to go to school this would be a good time to go.  You have a little income now to attend or you can enroll into a class or two to strengthen your skills.

Temporary agencies

Don’t be afraid to look into temp agencies.  Yes do you know the countless people who get hired through a temp agency? Lots and lots.  Even if an agency has only temp assignments take them and do well.  Once the agency sees your professionalism and your hard work you can get booted to the top of their memory for future assignments.

Mind over matter

You will need to get your head right.  After you cry and have your pity party,it will be time to dust yourself and get back in the game.  To get back in the game you will need to get your mind right.  Find something that you can do to take your stress away.  This is the time to have clear goals and be present in the moment.  You need to revamp yourself.

I would suggest that you wrap your mind around new ways of inventing your skills, yourself, and your goals.

It’s a blow to your ego but you don’t have to let it over take you.

It’s hard let me be the first to acknowledge that.  In case you were wondering when I was ready and aligned myself with the tips I just gave I actually found a job in less than 2 months.  You can do it as well!  The job loss wasn’t the end it was simply another stepping stone to your destiny. Don’t be scared of no.  You will hear it often in the beginning but if you give into rejection, you won’t get to your dream job.  Perseverance is the difference between a job and a career.

If you find yourself having to take a job until the one you want comes along, don’t fret.  We all sometimes do what we have to.  Think of it in the terms that it’s financing your dreams.  Good luck I wish you much success in 2015.

Toitime a place for empowerment-hurry back!


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