Ask Toi: How do I tell my husband he needs to do more in the bedroom

So with today being Wednesday I saved this for my hump day edition.

Well before you hold in how you feel you must tell your husband however tact is the name of the game.

I don’t know of a man who’s ego isn’t tied to how they put it down in the bedroom.   Ask any man to rate themselves and they aren’t going lower than a 9 and they may be in reality a cool 6 or 7.

There are several ways to speak to your man and keep his ego in tact.  One way is to see where you have changed.  Was your man always satisfying you in the bedroom?  If yes than what changed.  Your needs can change and I’m not suggesting that you are wrong in how you feel.  What I’m saying is be clear in where the change came in. 

So I would try during your time with your husband to direct him to what you want.  Yes guide his hands where you want or talk him through it.  Yes talking during sex and guidance wouldn’t be something that will tick your man off for the most part.  Also try taking control and then he can see what you like. Yes if you are married and having sex you should be comfortable telling the man that you supposed to have sex forever with what you want. So if this conversation is too much then we need more briefing in another post.

If walking him through during sex doesn’t cut it, try talking.  Now let me be clear I don’t want to start arguments.  When you have this conversation under no circumstances should this be done while your having sex.  Please avoid this conversation while in the bedroom altogether.  Talk with your husband and highlight what he does that gets you going.  After that let your husband know what you need more.  Don’t say to your husband you just don’t cut it, or that he’s not satisfying you.  Men need to solve problems so telling him what you need more of they can handle it.

Sex should be something sensual, fun, and fulfilling.  When you are married sex should be the best experience with a human on earth.  Express yourself more in the bedroom and talk openly outside of the bedroom as well.  Don’t be afraid to tap into what you need. 

Fun suggestion:make a suggestion box for the bedroom and bring it out before it’s time.  In it allow him and you to place suggestions that you both want more of.  This will spice it up and makes sure both have fun and get what you want

Be creative! Make sex with your husband fun by coming in with ideas yourself.  Some men do the same things just on the basis that they are having to be the only one coming in with new things to try. 

Hope that helps!


Toitime a place for empowerment-hurry back!


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