Ask Toi: How do I tell my good friend her man is no good

We all have had that girlfriend or been that girlfriend who has made questionable decisions in the dating department.  A rule of thumb is that unless your friend is in harms way you don’t offer your opinion.  Yes I’m sure there’s a woman who would disagree and say that they offer their 2 cents in all their friends business no matter what, trust me your girlfriend has noticed and may even withhold information from you because of it.

Don’t say either that if my friend was my real friend I should be able to be real with them.  That statement is only half truth.  As an adult we all want to make a decision and not have another adult nit pick everything that we do and dating is no different.  It’s one thing to be “real” and another thing to be real nosey.  Even with an Ask Toi I don’t go around trying to solve my friends problems even though I’m pretty good at advice.  I stay in my lane, and then offer when asked. 

If your friend asks for your advice then I would be honest.  When it comes to the matters of the heart I’ve always found that friends have already made up their minds one way or the other to continue to see a no good guy.  It’s best to be a place of support for your girlfriend than to try to be the deciding factor.

As off as it sounds I know plenty of women who will date the bad guy just because someone said not to.  Not to say that that all women are like that, however the scale tips more for the latter.  Be prepared for your friend to be possibly upset with your opinion.  Yes friends get mad at each other.  What makes a friend is the ability to be mad and come back together at a later time.

I hope you understand that women are complex and dating is a touchy subject.  What you think is bad may not be the case for another women.  For some women even though cheating should should be a deal breaker for many it’s not when they have their blinders on.  So if your friend’s blinders are on don’t be shocked by any response you may receive. 

Hope that helps!

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