Ask Toi: How do I handle a boss that doesn’t take responsibility of actions?

Well its Friday let’s first be grateful for that.  Let me say to any former bosses I have that all have been gracious but not all have gotten it right.  I’ve been avoiding this Ask Toi for a few days just because I have had personal experience with this on so many levels. I don’t know of anyone who has never had conflict with their bosses at any given point.  It’s how you handle it that counts.

A boss that doesn’t take responsibility for his/her actions can be one of the most annoying things ever.  It can depend on the severity of what is going on that can make for a hostile work environment.  You have to be willing to have an action plan and make some hard decisions.

Bosses are human you have to be willing to extend a certain amount of grace.  Yes grace.  You I’m sure have made mistakes on a job and no doubt didn’t want someone to blow up about it.  My first suggestion in your action plan is to write down what is happening with your boss.  When you write it down remove how you feel.  I didn’t say remove it from your mind.

Once you have written it down, set an appointment to meet with your boss and communicate what it is you are seeing and be willing to listen.  If you want you can come prepared with solutions to the problem as well.  If after you have met and spoken to your boss you felt a sense of resolve than great if not let’s explore more steps.

Depending on your company there could be set procedures for when you haven’t resolved conflict.  Follow those rules.  If that means having a meeting with human relations than set the meeting.  Your objective is to be heard but not come off as a complainer.

After you have met, taken the necessary protocols within your company you have to be willing to make hard decisions.  Some situations we have to move on and they aren’t worth much energy but then there are some issues that can’t be ignored.  Disrespect can be viewed differently from person to person.  If you are being berated or yelled at in front of other co workers that is a huge no no.  I had a boss once that thought this type of behavior was okay.  He/she would constantly yell about something and make a scene.  I talked to this boss several times and nothing, it continued.  I gave my two weeks’ notice and moved on.

I had a boss that thought it was ok to play the throw me under the bus game.  It was constantly my fault no matter what.  Some positions this is going to be the norm to an extent, however after a while and especially when you show your boss that it’s not your fault and they can’t look pass again you have decisions to make.  Some bosses don’t get that once they throw you under the bus to others that other team members don’t treat you with respect since that boss has shown the same level of disrespect and this is when hostile working environments are created.

Yes sometimes after meetings and communication some bosses just are with flaws and those flaws just can’t be worked with.  They are the boss and we are to respect them as such but pass small personality clashes, anything that goes against company policies, anything that is disrespectful where you can’t do your job, anything that is deemed inappropriate should always start with communication.

My issues with some company structures is that they are about that bottom line.  Some bosses have the accolades to be in their position but lack interpersonal skills.  Some bosses rise to the top but forget what it’s like to be at your position.  Your objective is to do an outstanding job.  Your objective is to get all task completed.  You are not there to be your bosses friend.  You are not required to have or maintain a relationship after you clock in or out.  If you can’t just stay focus while you are at the job and you can’t be under your bosses supervision then make an exit plan.   Never discuss with other co workers how you feel.  They will for the most part undercut you when the timing is right.  Also don’t discuss with others due to the fact that if you are moved to another department, the backlash will follow you and you don’t need the aggravation.

If you leave your job altogether and your job does an exit interview, complete it.  This isn’t the time to tell your boss where to go.  This is the time to give your sound input on what would make your boss better.  Just because it didn’t work out for you doesn’t mean it won’t work out altogether for the next person. Always remain professional even when you really don’t want to.  Nothing is worst than burning bridges.  Some people are just unwilling to listen until they are hit with losing their best worker.

I wish you much success even if that means finding the job and environment that best serves you.  As always if you can help it never leave one situation until you have a back up.  If you simply can’t wait for a back up then make that decision after careful thought.  Good luck!


3 Comments Add yours

  1. Frank says:

    Hello! I’ve been reading your weblog for a long time now
    and finally got the courage to go ahead and give you
    a shout out from Houston Texas! Just wanted to say
    keep up the great work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. toirenee says:

      Thanks so much!! No courage needed I’m just a regular person. Love Texas got great friends that live there


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