Ask Toi: My boyfriend is in love with his ex

Now to clue my readers in, she thinks that her boyfriend is in love with his ex and his behavior is very suggestive.

You say that he goes out with the ex and calls and talks to her regularly. That’s an immediate red flag for me.  It’s one thing to be in a good place with an ex but it’s not cool to hang out and call frequently unless you have kids together which they do not.  Even with kids there still needs to be distinct lines.

My suggestion would be to bring it to his immediate attention.  Let him know that his behavior is disrespectful and ask him why he feels the need to act in this manner.  After you heard what he’s had to say let him know that you aren’t comfortable.  If he continues I wouldn’t waste your time with a bunch of back and forth.  He heard you state how you felt and trust me he gets it. 

Do not give an ultimatum because you are making it about his ex.  If his behavior is less than stellar make it about him and you.  He didn’t respect your feelings or respect you enough to end this relationship.  Do not sit around hoping that your love will be strong enough to end it.  If it was he wouldn’t have engaged in this behavior.  No man can honestly feel it’s okay to hang and go out on dates with his ex and a current girlfriend be okay with that. 

No woman should have to play second fiddle either.  He either gives you what you deserve and be committed or move on to someone who will.

I wish you luck.


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