What’s in your closet?

You ever just see a well put together women and say to yourself man I need to step it up?  I do often.  I’m a woman who can give a compliment and there’s nothing more beautiful than being confident in doing so.

The one thing I’m learning in this world of photoshop and smoke screens is to own my own confidence.  Listen I’m definitely not the woman to wear the dresses with the slits to my private areas but that doesn’t mean I don’t love a polished and sexy look every now and again.

If I go with the fads all I see is skin.  I swear most of the dresses are just material optional.  Being confident in who I am means I make sure that when I step out that I’ve got that smile, a nice heel when necessary and a strong sense of who I am.  I have no issue with a woman who wants to be herself. 

Another thing that I’m learning is that I can be inspired by other women.  There are women whose look are in line in what I want the world to see me in.  It’s okay to see something you like and wear it.  Women make it hard to just be able to be inspired and not copy but definitely match.  How do companies make their money?  Advertisement.  In their ads women usually have something that the company hopes another person wants and goes and gets. 

Confidence can’t be duplicated.  I’ve seen women buy a heel and If she lacks confidence walks like a toddler taking her first steps.  It takes more than just a love for a piece to make that piece pop.  Growing up I always admired people like my mom who seemed to be able to be so chic at times with minimal effort.  Once I became a mom I realized even more than being a woman I have to make sure that I have the right image for my daughters.

Honestly at points in my life I was definitely sloppy with my image and lazy.  I didn’t want to go the extra mile unless I was on a date.  However I would be in the background saying I want a certain look while looking in magazines.  Thank God for stepping it up.  You can’t just dream about wanting to do more, you have to do it. 

One day I said this can’t go on another day and took myself more seriously.  As I did my confidence grew with it.  I started taking pieces and putting them together on my own.  I started to care about my myself.  I know to some who have it together like you should this seems a bit sappy, but from many of Ask Toi I’m still working on, it’s an area that many women struggle with.

A woman’s confidence can take serious hits through life’s journey there’s always room for reminders.  The best way to get out of your comfort zone is to just leap.  I’ve said it before even with limited funds you can re-shop your own closet.  Take pieces and put them together.  Have a friend you admire to help.  You can have a girls night of talking about fashion, etc trust me nothing helps more than being around good friends. 

We as women have so many tools around us to keep us polished.  If you feel you have lost yourself, try these tips:

1.  Change the negative thoughts of yourself.  As you think that’s how you are.

2. If you want new, go get it.  That means you can be thrifty as well.  Your local consignment shops has the same pieces for less.

3.  Do a clothes swap with like minded girlfriends.  Yes girl time, and clothes always go hand in hand.  Swap out clothes with each other while catching up. 

4. Want a new do-get it but speak to a licensed professional on what that look takes to maintain and if it’s the right fit for your face, etc.  On a budget there are hair schools that offer inexpensive hair maintenance. 

5. Switch up your shoes.  I love heels but I finally learned what heels work for my feet.  Don’t do 8 inches when you’re a wedge girl.  Learn your feet and when you walk do it confidently.  No shade against flip flops but unless you are in a beach for a date, step it up every once in awhile.

6. Color.  Don’t be afraid to try new colors. 

7. Smile.  It’s your best asset.  You always look better when you smile.

What’s in your closet?


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