Dating and children

Having children can be the most rewarding experience.  Even with all of the long nights and early days, children are by far the most important thing.

One of the things that comes along with having children especially for women is learning how to balance it all.  Since not all relationships make it to eternity a woman may find herself back in the dating pool. 

Dating is a tricky thing because when I was growing up children called their mommy’s new man uncle.  In this day and time that can get real sticky.  I never understood it as what do you say when mommy marries the uncle?  That was during the time when kids didn’t question parents actions like they do now. 

People have many theories on when to introduce a partner to children.  Some say early on to attempt to see how the relationship will develop.  Others encourage many to wait until one is serious.  Whatever way you do, make sure there is a balance.

If you watch the news or read a newspaper these days men are abusing and killing their girlfriend’s children.  I’ve often read these stories with tears in my eyes trying to figure out how this could have been done.  We’re there warning signs? What was the mother’s role?

I don’t know the answers but I’ve seen many single mom’s neglect their children for the affection of a man.  Sometimes new love can be invigorating but it shouldn’t substitute your intuition when it comes to children.  Sometimes we don’t take parenthood serious enough that allow these horrible events to take place. 

Mothers we know you want a life, however having children sometimes means finding a balance in personal and motherhood is more important now than ever before.  I was watching Love and Hip Hop New York.  The character Diamond Strawberry was dating a man for at least a year and never told him about her daughter.  When he would call she would say it was her dog.  Yes pause she said dog.  I almost throw my phone at the television.  What kind of mother would reference her child to a dog?  What kind of man are you dating that you had to lie to keep him?

Ladies I’m sure and pray that Diamond Strawberry isn’t the norm for mothers, but if it is let’s end that trend quick.  There’s never an excuse to treat a man better than your children.  I’ve heard of women who feed their man steak and potatoes while their kids are eating Ramen noodles.   Please know that you are responsible for your children and don’t think the message you send out to the kids won’t be loud and clear that they are second. 

It’s time to raise children and be accountable to them.  Date and meet people but check them out before you bring them around your children.  Make sure your children are comfortable.  If your child says something happened take the word of your child and investigate it.  If you find you can’t manage that, then maybe you need to not date.

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