Show me the Money!!

So of course after a long day of work and being with my kids, I definitely needed some television in my life so I turned on Love and Hip Hop Atlanta.  With all the drama going on the one that stuck out to me was between Rasheeda and her husband Kirk.

He was building them a home however it was revealed he was over $100,000 the budget and had spent $32,000 in one day out of the joint account.  For me I would be livid due to the large amount of money that had been taken out. Rasheeda was upset because “joint account, joint decisions.” 

I def agree with couples having joint accounts if it works for you and having your own account for the things you want to spend.  I know in my marriage that’s how we do and then we have a savings account both joint and separate.  It seems like a lot but the issue is making sure we pay bills together and have our own so when he wants to get a cut or me nails I don’t have to account that money. 

Some people joint accounts do not work because it’s a constant place of most fights.  I know both women and men who enter into marriage still holding onto the my clause.  So the other mate is unable to spend anything without ridicule while the other does what they want.  Money is one of the biggest causes of divorce.

I’ve been asked what I think again I’ve already shared what we do as a couple and it’s caused less arguments over money as at the end of the day we pull together and have made sure our home is secured and if one of us wants or needs we get it done.  In any home it should be about mutual respect.  If you think setting limits will solve the issue than do that.  Some couples have am agreement that over let’s say 100 for example is when a call to the spouse needs to be made.

Whatever the agreement is, you must not violate it.  Violating it causes distrust, dishonesty, and harbor feelings of anger between a couple and why would you want to do that and you’re on the same team?  Money doesn’t have to be an issue if you speak openly about it prior to marriage.  No one person should be in charge of the money unless it’s agreed upon.  In charge doesn’t mean you get to be a dictator.  In charge means you are better at checking over the money than the other.

To my men, since you statistically make more than women, the I make it so I can tell you when to spend it won’t work.  I know a lot of men who operate like that and let me say it creates so many issues in marriages that could be avoided.  You wanted to get married for a partnership than allow that to shine through.  Many women feel trapped in marriages because of financial entrapment that some men put on women and it needs to stop. 

For the men thinking that all a women who doesn’t work does is sit at home, let me say that women work just as hard at home these days.  Most women aren’t watching soap operas and eating chocolate especially if there are children at home. Build a legacy together and make it that both partners can feel empowered financially in the relationship.


One thought on “Show me the Money!!

  1. My only comment would be what does joint mean to u? In that I mean, joint as in all money goes in one account which u both have your names on for bills or whatever. Then u have separate accounts, which have your name on it only to do how u please OR joint in that both names are on all accounts for legal reasons in the event that something happens to one of u BUT each pay check goes in different accounts. So technically u still have access to it but don’t have a debit card to it? So technically its a joint account but your money doesn’t go in the same account BUT YOU BOTH contribute to the house, pay bills, make decisions together.

    So its a matter of how joint is defined for each couple & what works best for each couple. The latter works best for us. No one person is on charge & we make joint money decisions because it effects us both regardless of what account it comes from.


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