Ask Toi: How do I know if I’m doing too much for a person?

This is a question that many struggle with.  Anytime you find that what you are doing isn’t allowing the other person to still be independent than its time to step back.

I think people don’t realize that you can help someone but at times you can be a crutch too.  Some people get used to the things you can provide and will take advantage of you.  I was always taught never give more than you are okay with losing. A lot of people think it’s just about money but it’s not.  When you find yourself mad at doing for someone or venting about what you have done, it’s time to end it.  Think about it from this perspective you shouldn’t have any grudge with helping others.  So when you find it becoming a chore empower the person to do for themselves. 

People have issues with the word NO.  You have to use it every now and again.  There’s nothing wrong with telling people NO and not having to explain yourself.  People put pressure on you to make them feel better but one thing about people I’ve learned if you don’t do it someonelse will.  So don’t feel bad.

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