My Monkey, My Problem

You ever heard the saying “not my monkey, not my problem?”  It’s usually used when someone doesn’t want to take responsibility for someone else’s issues or concerns.  However today, it’s about taking responsibility for our own actions.

Sometimes because there are so many self-help books, blogs, tapes etc. we hear things and dismiss it to the other people around us.  If you’re married or in a committed relationship we hear something that sounds like it’s our mate we start grinning cause boom you weren’t the only one thinking he or she was off.  What we don’t always do is examine ourselves just as harshly as we seek to point outward.

When you’re having issues with family and friends your ears and eyes will tune to anything that seems to high-five your good deeds and highlight their bad ones.  That’s when we go on search for memes that low-key tells others off.  We all have gotten into this rut.  It’s Sunday and folks are looking for direction.  Usually people attend church to find their way.


I usually don’t do many Sunday blogs due to me preparing for my week but it hit me some need to focus their thoughts just like me why not a Sunday blog?  Our monkey, our responsibility is taking our eyes on everyone else and focus on us.  I included me because when I speak I apply the same to me.

Think about last week?  What were your strengths and weaknesses?  Where did you miss your mark? Don’t get caught up in the failure but use it to focus where you need to be.  We let mates, work, friends, and others diminish our light.  If you want to take responsibility first stop comparing yourself.

No you don’t parent like your friends, your makeup may not be beat like a woman on Instagram or church who seem to have it together, and you may not have the resources like many around you.  What you have is your unique path, trials, and circumstances.  If you don’t learn to embrace it you will always be fighting a losing the battle.  There are others around you who share you’re same hurts and issues.  Stop thinking you’re weird and unloved.  This is your monkey and your responsibility.

It is your path to walk.  I say every Sunday on the ToiTime Facebook page to write a list of your goals for the week and how you plan on achieving it.  It’s not good enough to say I need to make kids appointment, it’s about writing on Monday I will call by noon.  If you can’t make a plan of action how will you be able to be clear on how to get where you say you need to be?  It’s July and it’s time to take charge.  Remember how high the New Years was?  Everyone hitting the gym, losing weight, applying to new jobs, etc.  Now 6 months later you haven’t hit all the marks so now you’re like oh well until the next New Years.  Nope your monkey, your responsibility.  Recharge yourself.  Get refocused.

We love others to join us but the reality is often times even with someone with you, we walk lonely roads.  You can be in a crowd of happy people and experience a sense of loneliness.  If you haven’t you just need to live a little.

What monkeys do YOU need to tame?  Is it the monkey of illusion, depression, dependability, overeating, stress, anger, or  lack of motivation?  Only you know what your monkey is.  Only you no matter how many want to point them out to you can tame them.  Think about it, you can see a counselor and they can literally give you the tools to be better but if you don’t apply it, whose fault it?  Yours.

If you are ever going to make changes the time is now.  It’s time to accept your flaws.  You can change them.  You can be different.  For instance I know some people are paralyzed by opinion.  Opinions can make you doubt yourself, your skills, and your light on the world but only if YOU allow it.

Today if you have to write down the areas you struggle with aka your monkeys and what you would like to see happen with them.  Add them to your weekly list for the week.  Write an action plan.  If you know you tend to be depressed after you are around certain people, refrain from visiting with them until you’re stronger.  If you overeat, do some meal planning and when you’re hungry outside of the meals you have made have a cute water bottle with you filled at all times to substitute water for calorie intake.  If you know you are angry all the time take it back old school and carry a stress ball. Yes something physical you can do until you learn to channel the state of anger on your own.

Examples like these can help you.  You have to be willing to step from behind the monkey instead of allowing them to ride you and everything you do.



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