Ask Toi: How do I apologize to my wife, it’s been months and she won’t forgive me.

Well if depends on what infracture you did in the first place and your willingness to change.

Sometimes coming in late after a night out with the boys can be smoothed over with dinner and flowers.   However telling your wife’s personal business to someone she doesn’t like or talk to can’t.  You know you’re wife.   As much as tangible gifts of apologies are nice to receive it’s even nicer when you as the man deal with the infracture itself.

Some people will apologize but don’t change.  After a few times every person has a breaking point.  You need to find out if whatever you have done has hit that nerve.  Marriage is tricky. You can bring in the old things over and over again and find that apologies don’t carry the same weight it once did before.

My advice is sit and talk about it.   Find out if it’s something that can be fixed.  Maybe you need to have a 3rd neutral party to assist.  It happens.  The issue isn’t in finding a gift but figuring out how to repair the situation as a whole.  If after you have done that and she’s still not over it,  it’s now her issue.  She may never forgive you. What?  Yes she may never forgive you.  Some people hold onto the past never letting go.   It not only destroys them but can cause wedges in relationships.  

Attempt to make peace with your wife and be engaged in finding a solution. 

Good luck!!


3 thoughts on “Ask Toi: How do I apologize to my wife, it’s been months and she won’t forgive me.

  1. Also remember that even if she forgives you, rebuilding her trust will take time. How much time? Only she knows. Are you willing to work on rebuilding her trust?

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I think people tend to forget that forgiveness comes after the discussion. Too often couples try to get over their fights, arguments, or disagreements by pushing forward. Instead they should actually get to the root of the problem and discuss that before they move on to the forgiveness part.

    BTW I love the new blog design!

    Liked by 1 person

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