Ask Toi: I’m overwhelmed and I can’t seem to get it together anywhere, I need help. What do I do?

Well ding ding ding today I’ll answer you blog style.  You know what the problem is,  you’re human.  Yes there’s not one person who don’t have complex issues going on.  Everyone has felt like the walls are closing in so let’s deal with it.

Have you ever talked to someone about how you feel and they hit you with the well there are others around you going through worse?   Pause.  We know the answer right but we just don’t have an answer or break from our own stuff.   Does that mean you think selfishly about others around you? Of course not.  You just can’t catch your own breath.

Well one thing is you don’t have to have an answer for everything.  What?  Yes,  some things don’t fix themselves overnight.  I’m a sign person so at times I’m like yep his eye moved that means something.  Or that free coffee from the cute barista means something more than some eye candy and a free caffeine shock.   Sigh.  Be open to solutions but they will come don’t force it.  

You’re first issue is to declutter your mind.  Things get to you when you keep replaying the negativity in your head.   You know what I mean.   The girl stepped on your shoe. Now you’re thinking of what you should have done.  Next you envision stepping back on hers.   Then you catch an attitude and your day is blown.  Although that example was elementary it works for everything.

You have money issues.  You play back where you could have done better.   That’s a great thing except now you are mad that you didn’t think about it then.   Then you start thinking about people who you know mess up but appear to do better than you.  Now you’re thinking of ways to get what you need the wrong way.   Stop.  Yes stop.  Your mind is on overload.  I’m not suggesting that when you declutter your mind that it will magically make the situations disappear.  What I am saying is that it will give you back your clarity and allow for solutions to be worked out.

People think that when they are overwhelmed that people are against them.   They usually aren’t.  It’s our feelings that get bruised.  Some times others are just floundering just like you and know how not to look the part. 

Listen life has harsh moments.   If you just live life some times will be out of your control.  You are responsible for your reactions.  Life always has a way of turning around. 

It’s your season of change.   Change is uncomfortable.  Yes sorry but the grass isn’t always beautiful, it also withers.   If you want the good you will also have to endure the bad as well.  Yes you have to go through.  It’s like being on a bridge and no alternate route available. You can’t get to the other side without going through.  So yes cry if you have to.  That doesn’t make you weak.  Sometimes that simple release is necessary.  Be careful who you vent to. Yes when you’re going through some people love to make things worse by spewing more negativity than your heart and mind is able to handle.

Even in the darkest day, light will return.  Journal your thoughts.  I have mine from like years ago.  It’s amazing to see how far I’ve come and sometimes where I still need work.  Exercise and work out.  Even if you’re naturally summer time fine all year round, working out relieves stress.   Go old school and grab a stress ball.   If you find yourself not able to deal,  seek professional help.  This could mean a financial or personal counselor or doctor. Have literally no shame in seeking the help you need. Acknowledging an issue and doing something about it is one of the best and strongest thing to do.  

Good luck you got this!!

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