Ask Toi: My husband cheated but wants half credit…

Half credit? Let me come out of my body and then come back.   How do you get half credit for cheating?  If you’re married and you step out to cheat then you cheated.

I know many men will not like me today but just because you got oral sex but stopped short of penetration doesn’t entitle you to half credit.  I’m sure your heart isn’t half broke now is it.   He went to cheat and pre-planned it.  That’s far worse than an it just happened situation.  We’re talking about premeditated cheating.   His half credit would have been when he set it up and then felt bad prior to any sexual gratification.  Not well I got a little something but I spared you the full romp.

Address his cheating.   He isn’t ready to take full responsibility.  Even if you two can heal you can’t even begin to start until he stop with the excuses.  So tell him no there’s no half credit. 

You need to decide if this is your deal breaker.  If it is then do what you have to do.   No one including me can encourage you either way because it’s a personal decision and your marriage.  If you decide to stay please seek counseling with and without him.
Again once he takes full credit.

Keep in mind to some oral sex isn’t cheating to most it is. Your husband needs to accept what he’s done but that’s his issue.   Think about how YOU want to proceed.

Good luck and sorry for your pain.


2 thoughts on “Ask Toi: My husband cheated but wants half credit…

  1. Half credit? That is a straight smack in the face. If the tables were turned I’m sure he wouldn’t say nothing about giving you half credit. All I can say is do what’s best for you. If trying to work it out works for you, then do that. If u can’t work it out, then do that. If you need time then maybe a separation with clear rules & expectations might be necessary. At the end of the day, you have to be at peace & ok with your decisions.


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