Ask Toi: I’m married but old feelings for an old flame came up..

You’re human.  You were in a relationship with a man that you spent some time with and you thought about the past.   Now,  pause, smile and move on.  

Don’t jeopardize your marriage and family over a fleeting thought.  Why aren’t you with your old flame?  Keep that in mind when the thought comes to you.   Like Jill Scott says in Cross my Mind,  “you were never good for me and I was never good for you…” 

Too many people excuse physical thoughts of what was for lasting love.  Go back old school and know what is lust and what is love.  Sometimes in marriage when you get in a funk and it happens you think but never should it be enough to actually roll.  

Many things trigger the old memories like a smell,  a movie or even a song.  Think of the happy times and then look at what you have and make it work.  Take your man on a date or make a new memory.  Whatever you do don’t open a door because it comes with too many consequences.

Good luck and get your eyes back to your man!!!

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