Ask Toi: How do I ask for a divorce?

This is a very tough question.  I really wish you weren’t in the situation where you needed this advice.  It is a hard pill to swallow when you believe you have no other choice but to end things.

Before I answer you, have you sought out all means before coming to the conclusion to end it?   Can you have peace in your heart knowing you tried every measure to fix things? If yes let me proceed if not don’t ask for one until you answer those questions.

You will just need to sit your mate down and ask them for one.   There’s no recipe for asking.  Being honest about why you’re asking will be key.  Don’t use the divorce talk to make your mate act right.   It won’t. If that’s your reason it will back fire I promise you.  Use it because that’s where you are AND you’re ready to file.  Not I feel like I’m going to file if….

Divorce is serious and that talk will never go well.   You can hope for an amicable situation but don’t get your hopes up.  Be careful. I can’t stress enough how asking for a divorce as a means to wake up a spouse will damage your relationship more than you can think.  If you’re really serious put it out there and have a plan.  Know your rights.   Consult an attorney and have a plan on custody if children are involved, debts that you owe separately and jointly, and property distribution.  These are the main things filling for a divorce will bring up. 

Its not as easy road but if you find yourself making that decision and going through it, it will be okay but it will be awhile before that happens.  I wish you peace and understanding.  I also wish you well in taking time in making that huge life change.

Good luck.

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