Dating and the Single Life: Get Clear

Welcome to the Dating and Single Life series.   I like to do series to help those with particular issues get clarity.  When I receive questions in dating that are all having the same theme it’s time to talk about it and address it.  

Let’s keep it real, most people DON’T want to be single.  Yes I’ll repeat it most DON’T want to be single.  So many times I’ll get a letter that says I want to date but.   I want to find love but.   Yes these women and men want to share their lives with another person.  Even the ones who say they don’t need a man and can do for themselves want one.  When someone says they don’t need a man those are generally the ones who haven’t found a man that changes that statement.  Little early nugget you won’t until you change your disposition.

Dating can be fun and frustrating.  So how do we begin this series?  Get clear.  Yes you ever been on a date and you are looking great, smelling good, and feeling yourself and then your date says “I’m just dating for fun.”  What?  Your mind goes blank and something gets in your throat.   You’re sitting there not trying to marry your date but in the back of your mind you want to know where things will go.

How do you answer your date?  You say me too.   You just sold yourself short.   Why?   You don’t want to come off as needy.   You forgot what dating is for.   You have a good time and see how you vibe.  If you find you and your date aren’t on the same page take your doggy bag of steak home, smile, and move along.

Now for my serial daters the ones who go on 2-3 a week we gonna get to you later this week.  You have to be able to take some of the edge off in dating.   Take the breaks off.  Not every date is an audition for marriage.  Yes I know you’re getting older and you want to be married like now.  As a married woman let me say after the pomp and circumstance is over marriage isn’t always this fairytale you have made it to be in your mind.

Know what you want.   Don’t change it for each date.   You’re not a chamillion.  If you aren’t even sure how will anyonelse?   Dating needs to change in your mindset way before you get to your activity.  It starts with you being clear.  Even if marriage is your goal don’t approach dating like a race.  Men pick up on it and for that matter so do women.  When you’re on a date your objective is to have fun, let your personality show, and be in the moment.

We are going to touch on every topic presented and some not by your questions.  Buckle up because this won’t be your mom’s advice.  We are going in.

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