Dating and the Single Life: Serial Dater

Well I’ve gotten your attention.  Let’s talk about the serial dater.   The serial dater is the one who has dates lined up better than some men’s hair line.  Serial daters are people who are concerned with quantity over quality.  They believe that more is better.   They also believe that the more exposure they get it will better their chances in finding meaningful love.

On the surface its a great plan.  Going out 2-3 times a week sounds nostalgic.  However even serial daters end up with the same issues that people who can’t get a date have: they’re still single. 

Going out with multiple people doesn’t place you at the top of the marital gods list.  But many are thinking in these terms.  Going on multiple dates is draining.  Dating isn’t like it used to be so long gone are just dinner and a movie.   Dating has become an art form.   People are getting creative with their dating options. 

When you’re dating multiple people how do you decide which one gets sincere one on one time?  Beyond activities how do you decide which one of your dates is the investment?  I know plenty who will invest time with multiple people and will confuse their dates or end up strongly liking more than one.  So now confusion has set in. 

It’s too much.   Im all for options.  I love variety but in love too much variety is a recipe for disaster.   Instead of serial dating, cut your numbers down.   If you think about it most of the daters don’t match where you want to be.  Yes Mr. Monday is fine as ever but he doesn’t want kids and you do.   Begin to cut down some of these people based on deal breakers.  No one is perfect so if your cut down list is based on job or height or something superficial dating is going to be a long road for you to begin with.  

Quality is better.  Finding someone you love falling asleep on the phone with,  that likes some of the activities you do,  who makes you laugh, has a great heart is way more important than just filling your calendar.  Serial dating can actually leave you more alone than one thinks.  You will find you’re able to catch a great date and feel empty on why you can’t just end this roller coaster of emotions. 

Slow it down.   There’s no need to invest time and energy to where it won’t be returned.   Dating is already hard as it is.   That goes for the men.   I know men are taught that they are the man when they have more than one woman.   Yes for sex but not if you’re really ready to settle down.  That’s the difference.  Are we talking conquests or are we talking about finding a partner?  

Are we talking about finding meaningful love or we talking wet sheets?   There’s a huge difference.  If you continue on a serial dating spree you may come back with less money and an even more of an empty heart.  Think about it in terms of diamonds.  Diamonds are a girl’s best friend right?   Now you can get a a big rock but it will have color and not be flawless.  Or you can invest in a colorless, flawless diamond that isn’t as big in weight but definitely more of an nvestment and will sustain itself later down the road. 

So where are you?  Are you on the road to quality or are you still about the numbers?  Have the numbers helped you at night?  Do you feel empty?  If you answered yes to any of these questions, it’s time to cut your numbers and invest in quality dates.  

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