The Comfortable Man

For my ladies, have you ever dated the man who just doesn’t want too much?  We aren’t talking about being content.   We are talking about the man that you need to do more in the care level and you get just nothing.

Men and women are different.  Women have always been pinned the more emotional.  Men play cool.   How do men and women find a middle?  It’s the age old question.  If a man shows too much interest he’s thirsty.  If too little he’s a jerk.  This will be a personal journey answer.  Im a principle person.  For me I look at how a man handles his business and no I’m not talking about in the bedroom.  If a man grew up in a home with no male figure.  That doesn’t mean he’s not good husband material but my instincts leads me to test him.  

We as women worry about the superficial.  What about the things that matter to me for a future?  If a man can’t be there to hold my hand in hard times that’s an issue of empathy.  If when money is tight and his go to is to mistreat me because he can’t handle stress thats an issue.  If he is verbally abusive because that’s all he knows, then what?

Men will do what you allow them to do.   If irks me when I hear a man say I’ll do right by a woman if she’s pretty.  Stop.  So if you consider me to be average, do I get treated as average?  Please don’t feed me the that’s just how he is.  He may be but if you allow it why would he change.   Men change for what and who they want.

The comfortable man is just that, comfortable.  I hear women say he won’t do anything for me.   He doesn’t show he cares.  What is your love language?  I highly recommend you read Gary Chapman’s: “The 5 love languages, how to express heartfelt commitment to your mate. ”  This book breaks it down in its most plain form.   After you have read it or know where you and him stand, be honest.  I think love can be fulfilling when both parties are generally on the same page.

I dated this guy many,  many years ago.  He had no drive but it took some digging to find that out. On the surface he was beautiful.  After many conversations and time I saw that I would be in this relationship alone.  When I needed him to lead he wouldn’t.  I tested this theory many times to no avail.   If there was an issue he would ask me to allow space.  I did.  If he’s reading this it’s been quite some time.   Luckily I’m not worried, dating,  or hoping.  I moved on. 

I have a lot of single followers who are seeking for a solid man.   They want someone who is just as interested in them and vice versa.  Nothing is more alarming then to be with a man that won’t figure anything out.   He doesn’t fix anything or find someone who can.  Sorry there’s goggle abd Youtube now there’s no excuse.   He won’t go above to provide.  He will spend his money on his wants ie new gaming system, etc but when the gas is due ask you to take care of it.  Note: not all men who buy Madden are irresponsible

You need a man with a plan and a desire to lead.  Once you have that you need you to support that man.  Yes it’s give and take.  Just be clear of who you are supporting before you find your support being more than you bargained.  Do not proceed with you on a give and take journey.  You can’t give and not have your tank filled.

Just as much as men don’t want a lazy woman, no woman wants the same.  Recognize when minimal effort is being shown.   If not you will be married to minimal and complain often.   Recognize if you’re feeling like the man you’re with is AND you have spoken to him AND you have gotten to the point where you find you’re DOING what he won’t do,  be real.  Is it worth it?  

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