National Respect Day

Hope you’re having a great day today.   But let’s talk about respect.  It’s national respect day.  Yes a day where we should check ourselves and do some type of self evaluation in how we treat others and want to be treated.

Now respect should be standard across the board but it’s not.   Respect is earned bottom line.  The other day I was in the store and came across a 90 year old woman.  First let me say black don’t crack she looked 60.  I spoke and said hello like I always do to people.  She spoke and before I knew it 30 minutes had passed.   Now some younger folks dont take the time to listen to the older ones but I’m the polar opposite.   She told me why she’s so young.  She stated that she made it her business to treat people right.  She said that even though people should treat her with dignity and respect she knows that if she mistreated people that she couldn’t hide behind her age to demand it.   I stepped back and said well, well. 

I’m listening to this mother soaking in every word she had.  For me if she’s gotten to 90 then anything she has to say is like gold to me.   She stated that her postion in others lives didn’t allow her to be disrespectful.  Now just think about this for a minute.   How many times have we heard cause I’m your (fill in the blanks of the relationship)  so I can say,  do, and act how I like.  That isn’t the case. I’ll say it once and again respect is earned not given.

After I left that blessed jewel’s presence a huge smile came on my face.   She not only made me smile but she taught me something.  If we talk about respect let’s talk about disrespectful behavior.   Now being the nerd and geek that I am I utilized google on this one.   According to goggle which can be like the internet Bible, respect is defined as admiration of one’s abilities, qualities, or achievements.  Respect is also a due regard to feelings, wishes,  rights,  and traditions.  It is void of harm.  

In this society where we use the words of respect but not the action really take that definition to heart.  In romantic relationships and non romantic relationships how many times have we disregarded someone else?  You have to understand that once respect is lost its hard to piece things together.   Not impossible but definitely hard. 

One last thing with respect is forgiveness.   We think that forgiveness for disrespect is enough only but it’s not.   Forgiveness is for you.   It clears your personal conscience.  It doesn’t change what happened, it doesn’t magically make it disappear.   It helps you.   I was listening to a pastor on a radio station here in Philadelphia.  He said that when people say sorry they expect to pick up where you left off.   However they haven’t earned it.   If a child touches a hot stove one would think they wouldn’t keep touching it knowing its going to hurt them?  Time and a changed behavior has to be in place.   There’s no way that people can continue to hurt you and you’re supposed to just continue to allow the behavior to continue.  You too are in charge in how you allow others to treat you.  Take some responsibility.

Lastly once physical harm or the threat of physical harm comes into play run not walk away.   That person has shown you who they really are and it would be in your best interest to take heed.   Now I posted a video on my ToiTime Facebook by Tony Gaskins. He talked about chances and even though it’s geared to romantic relationships, the principle can be applied to any relationship.

Make things right with others today and everyday but know that not everyone will put their guard down.  Don’t keep allowing people access to your life.  Learn to say no and move on.  Stop being moved by someone who wants their forgiveness to make you be around them.  If they haven’t earned it they haven’t earned it.   Protect yourself and treat others in the same regard that you want to be treated.  

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