Ask Toi: My husband doesn’t help with the kids and I’m a stay at home mom…

Let me start off by saying a Stay at Home mom is hard work.  I was in your place for years so I understand the struggle.  My answer to your problem is stop making your 2 parent home into a 1 parent home.

Yes we as women have the capabilities of multitasking.   Sometimes that can be a curse and a blessing.  We don’t always allow our mate to lend a hand because they don’t do it the way we would.  Stop.   Yes your husband works outside of the home but there are things he can do to assist.  Be open.

It’s about teamwork.  You and your husband have to both let go whose job is it to do when.   That means there isn’t women’s work and male work.  There is let’s come together and get the job done.  You guys will have to be flexible in order to run your home as partners.  If he’s watching television and you’re giving baths, he can help by folding some clothes.  That way the time he took in folding can be used for other areas for you.   Helping around the house doesn’t diminish his manhood.  It’s about working to get the kids to bed and maybe some quality time together.

As a woman we have the power to get our men to help.  Don’t talk down or go behind him and correct unless it’s something life changing or saving.  If his dishes in the drying rack looks polar opposite of what you would do,  leave it and thank God he cleaned them.  I think as 2 parent homes we have the luxury to complain when reality there are many single parent homes who would love the help.  Get your husband to understand it takes more than income to run a home.  Teamwork makes the dream work.  Find a system you both can live with.  Some men think we as women don’t need help.  We play a responsibility in some of that.

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