Ask Toi: I’ve changed my mind about having a baby and my husband wants out the marriage…

This is a huge situation.   As a woman you have a right to feel the way you do about childbirth however he has a right to be upset.   I would really find out why you have a change of heart.   Something like changing your family size is major not only for you but for your husband.  If you’re not willing to give him the children he wants that’s a major deal breaker.

I know as a woman you are upset and saying to yourself if he loved you he wouldn’t leave but thats not fair.  You’re married which means that unless you allow for extramarital affairs he is to be faithful to you.   If that is the case and if he wants kids how does he get both?  Thats a lot to accept.  Having children is about carrying on his name and legacy.  He can’t do that under the pretenses you gave.  You said you changed your mind which means at one point you were on team have a baby.  

Woman talk about the hurt and pain of not being able to have a child and in your case it’s you saying no you don’t want to have them.  You’re leaving your husband without many choices.   He would have to leave and find someone who wants the same things as he.   You two aren’t on the same page and unfortunately if you are being true to yourself and don’t want children I don’t see a resolution.  Having a child when you don’t want them will cause resentment.  Your husband not having a child will be resentment.  You guys have a hard decision and conversation ahead.  I wish you well.   Be true and allow him to be true to himself too.

I wish you both well.

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2 thoughts on “Ask Toi: I’ve changed my mind about having a baby and my husband wants out the marriage…

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