Ask Toi: Now that we are married I can’t get him to communicate?

The issue is knowing his communication style.  Sometimes we want our men to do and say like we do and that rarely happens.  You need to understand how he’s attempting to speak.

If for instance you have a question but want more of a response don’t ask a yes or no question. You know men will keep it simple.  Also just because you’re passionate about something doesn’t always mean he feels the same way.  As long as he is being respectful in what you say.  Also don’t treat him like a child.  If he says he will do something and doesn’t call him out.  Say what you need to and leave it alone. 

If an email follow up will work after a conversation then do that.  If a text before will help organize your thoughts with him then do that.  Also if you speak up and then need a cool down period then do that and set a time to tackle it again.  

Communication and the lack thereof will hurt in the long run.   If you can talk in a public place try it.  Nothing is wrong with changing the atmosphere either.  Marriage is forever and comes with work.  Make the work count by not focusing on who’s right or wrong but how you can get back on track together.

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