That Dreaded Ex and Valentine’s Day

Now we know there are some sorry men out there who actually take pleasure in breaking up with their significant others around this time just to cause some harm.  If you find yourself on the receiving end of this brutal treatment do not fret I have you covered.

Many men are cowards.  I hate to say it but they are.  Note I didn’t say all men I said many men.  Men are the ones that will break up in the most ugliest ways to avoid having to be real to say what they really mean.  I want to help my ladies out this season.  Be wary of men who want to come into your life during the Valentine’s day season.  Not to say that all men are snakes but you must consider the source.  You and him know the reason you parted ways in the first place.  Ask yourself the following questions:

  1. Are you hooking up to have a man on the holiday?
  2. Is this man sincere?
  3. Why do you want that old thang back?

These questions alone will help YOU field your feelings.  Remember you are only responsible for your actions.  If you are only hooking up with an ex just to avoid being alone for the holiday, consider that once that last piece of steak is eaten and you navigate back to you or his home for that netflix and chill, will you be okay with the feelings the next day?  If you hate how you feel after this back and forth ritual than do yourself a favor don’t let it begin.  Yes don’t pick up the phone or accept a what you doing or hey you text. Trust me when I say if you’re not ready or can handle the emotional flood gate of this behavior then you owe it to yourself to let it ride.  Asking yourself if the man is sincere for you does matter.  I know its a question you can’t fully answer but honestly you know how that man does what he does.  You know if he’s a man of integrity so if you can’t say with full honesty that he is don’t put yourself out there for him to stomp on your heart.

Now if you have been with your boo for some time and then out of no-where he breaks up with you, don’t go back to him.  Listen I’m married to a man who I dated before and took back.  However everything doesn’t end well for everyone.  We had to work and we also had a lot of years in between us to work on ourselves.  Not everyone is fortunate.  Sometimes you can get with an ex partner and find not much has changed and then you are out there upset, confused, and hurt.  You owe yourself a clean slate.  Find other alternatives for Valentine’s day other than going back to an ex only to have your heart broken.  Keep in mind that it’s one day.  You need to find love and I truly understand that.  For me I was more comfortable in relationships than one night stands so I get the desire to be coupled up.  However don’t go rolling in the pig pin to appease your very temporary feelings. I would suggest investing in making a girls trip.  Not all of your girls are getting married and having babies-have some fun.  You can even do a staycation with yourself if you don’t feel like being bothered.  Let me define a fun staycation.  This isn’t your stay in the house with a pint of your favorite ice-cream watching movies.  A staycation could be where you find an activity you would not likely have done and guess what, you do it.  Did you know that often times you run into your real thing while you’re out enjoying life.  It’s true. Nothing attracts goodness to you like a smile and contentment.  So get out.

Take your time and be gentle.  I know all about biological clocks.  Let me encourage you that if you get with someone and they don’t work out for you it’s better to have waited and found true love than to settle and be miserable.  It’s easy to get into something than it is to get out.  Babies and marriage are a blessing but they are work.  They are time consuming.  Be grateful for your portion and learn to navigate your life accordingly.

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