Anti-Marriage

I love my readers.  I really do but let me dispel a message that one of my readers sent me today.  I’m not anti-marriage.  I am a married woman.  My husband and I live together so I can dispel the myth that if I am married that I must be separated.  Sorry to burst your bubble but we aren’t.  My message for women to make sure they know about what they are getting into prior to marriage isn’t an anti-marriage message.

So many times women rush down the aisle because they are confusing a great connection and wet sheet sets for love.  Sorry to my young reader but often times that’s it in a nut shell.  If you were looking for a blog that keeps it flowerly than you don’t need to read this one.  I actually not a flower girl.  I am here only to give you another perspective of a lifetime choice.  We know marriages are falling apart. I could give you all the stats in the world but when you are in your home trying to make it work and it isn’t working let it be a bump in the road and not because you are with the wrong mate.

Its going to take more than some pretty gifts and amazing sex life to hold a marriage.  It’s going to take more than the responsibility of a family to hold that union together too.  So yes get married but before you do make it an informed decision.  Don’t go into marriage messing up over people just to fulfill some sad married by 30 goal you have.  I would rather you start your life in marriage later in life than to do it to beat your biological clock.  You can break that clock if you think that’s going to make you a woman.  Please understand that I’m not here to break up a home, I’m simply a voice of reason you have when you don’t have someone in your ear telling you the real.  So instead of worrying if I’m married or not make sure your anchor holds when the waves and seasons of marriage come raining down on yours.  If you’re single enjoy your single life and stop rushing marriage because everyone around you is doing it.  Whatever state your life is in learn to enjoy the ride.  You may want to jump ship because you didn’t do your due diligence in the first place.

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4 thoughts on “Anti-Marriage

  1. People just want you to talk nothing but the good in marriage. They want to believe marriage is a fairytale. They want to believe again that marriage is a come up, you won’t have any problems or hard times, everything will be perfect. But that’s not the case. Yes marriage is good and it’s better to go through life with someone. But u got to count the cost. You are two separate individuals blending a life. U aren’t going to think like him, he isn’t going to think like you. U have different ways of doing things. There is a lot of compromise. Then if there are kids involved that’s another thing u have to consider. Then you both come from your own families and that can be trying in itself. Holidays, traditions etc…. Ain’t no guarantee either of your family is going to love you and accept you like your spouse does. So again u gotta count up the costs. Again, marriage is great I have more great times then bad but ain’t no sugar coating in my book

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  2. High Five! I think we in this country are so beyond transparency because our society has become so jaded with the fake reality of reality shows (aka mindless tv that we all enjoy to some extent, yes we have become accustomed to seeing dysfunction on screen for pleasure) and social media displays of what is or isn’t a happy life. As a divorcee, I will admit I had no clue before marriage what it entailed in terms of sustaining the institution. My parents were married and I grew up in a stable home. I’m sure my parents had their share of challenging raising 3 children however it felt stable and safe in my eyes. When I reflect back on my decision to get married it was exactly what you stated the “biological clock” and the societal pressure of “this is what I am supposed to do”. Wrong, wrong and wrong. I lacked the maturity to commit to marriage as I was not through working on me or being 100% into me. How could I possibly consider merging my life with another individual? Your time as a single person should be focused on being 100% into establishing your life, passions, dreams, aspirations and goals with no distractions. So what if it takes you well beyond the age of 30. I strongly believe you should have no regrets when you settle down. I think this applies to men as well. When you discover and meet the one you are prepared to offer the time, unselfishness and commitment to live as one who share the same values, beliefs, standards and life goals. Take your time for you! and do not live according to someone else’s expectations of your life.

    Liked by 2 people

    • so many people jump and get married because its the most logical next step. The reality is the next step is being clear that marriage and all that in entails is for you and not just something to do because others are doing. Marriage is hard and trying to build with another person you may not even be on the same page with is hard

      Liked by 1 person

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