Does Size Matter?

Okay so we are on day 3 of my Saturday conversation.  Again still talking about the whole marriage and dating situationships we allow ourselves to get into.  I’m in several marriage clubs and relationship clubs and one of the questions that most people ask deals with is size of the ring and what that means.  To be honest there are so many other things to worry about but let me break the ring issue down for a little bit.

When a man is ready to propose they say that he should have 3 months of his salary saved up.  In order to flow with that logic that means he would still have to be able to take care of his home and bills.  So if a man is saving up that type of money, in essence even at a very low income the man is expected to get a descent size ring.  My issues with ring size:

  1. You can have a big ring with a man that doesn’t have a clue about financial planning.
  2. Rings vary in size and taste of the individual woman and what should look good on her hand.
  3. Rings are something that is nice but there are many women with rings from non committed men

Like I said if you have a large ring and that man has no sense of financial planning, you could have a ring that is massive but every other month have your lights turned off.  Let me say to every man who has purchased a large ring that its not all men.  All I’m saying is in the world of rings when we see celebrities who can purchase them we compare our self worth to the size.  Size doesn’t matter.  I know women say that but with rings it does not. I would still have said yes to my husband because I love everything about him.  I wanted to be Mrs. Storr.  So nothing would have stopped me from becoming so.

When I got engaged I wanted a Tacori ring.  Let me say I loved the shape and uniqueness of their diamonds.  I loved the fact that they are really one of a kind rings.  Tacori rings come with a very steep price.  When I say steep I really mean steep.  So when my husband and I had been dating before we talked about the Tacori look.  Now if my husband could have afforded a Tacori he would have went out and got it, but what he did was gave me what I wanted within his budget.  He went to 3 different jewelers.  He purchased the diamond at one location.  He then found the comparable setting at another and then had the 3rd place set it.  It is indeed a beautiful ring.  To others its so beautiful and big but it had nothing to do with all of that.  What he did was he knew of a look I liked.  He presented me with my style of ring from his heart.  We didn’t have to eat Ramen noodles afterwards either. That’s what I mean about the size and taste.  My ring looks to be at least 1.5 carats but its not and I love it.

Sometimes people get engaged and then are on a 5 year engagement.  A lot of couples are opting out for paying for their wedding themselves.  That’s a great thing.  I would advise against taking out 2nd mortgages for weddings and charging all kinds of stuff just to start off your foundation in debt.  I know there are a lot of people who say things like its an investment.  Yes an investment into debt.  You do realize that most 1st year marriages end up experiencing some type of hardship.  So what happens after you have this large tab and one of you loss a job?  Now you have debt on top of more potential debt. You can have a nice wedding within a budget and work hard to get it.  Some people end up having these 5 year and 10 year engagement. Those I like to call the be quiet engagement.  That woman has for the most part stated they wanted to be married so much that their partner bought the ring just to get that off their back and have no intentions of walking down the aisle until the next nag session pushes their hand.  These type of marriages will end up having the woman always having to over complain before they can get the basics.

Rings are beautiful.  I would be lying if I too didn’t like a few celebrity rings myself.  Just recently I feel in love with Ciara’s ring from Russell.  However at the end of the day we sometimes allow ourselves to put pressure on men to provide these big rings so we can sit back and show off for our girlfriends.  Did I celebrate my engagement with my girls?  You better believe it.  My husband had them there with me as we danced the night away together.  Please learn to live within your lifestyle. I know plenty of women with large rings, and a lot of other material possessions with men who are rarely home.  Men who aren’t faithful.  The size of a ring or wedding will not determine the length of the marriage.  If we put more emphasis on having sound and true committed marriages as we do for how big your rock is we would have stronger marriages today.  So enjoy the happiness and the glow of just being asked to become one with the one you are supposed to be with .  Be content with your man, your potential marriage or actual marriage, and your life.  Life is already hard without throwing into the mix of rings, now if we talking about other things……size may matter, but that’s a different conversation on a different day.

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