Forgive me readers if off the bat I’m not in my most cheerful mood. I woke up in a state of anger and frustration. The reason for me writing about it is because when you are positive people think you don’t ever have bad days. That’s not true. I do, you do, we all do.
So as I came into work today with red all in my eyes, I felt guilty. Today is Good Friday and today should be a day where I’m thinking of all the things that Jesus has done today. That in itself should make me humble and grateful. Can I be honest for a second? I’m grateful I really am but I’m so mad at the world right now I can’t stand my own skin. So as they say its not about the anger its about what you plan to do with it. I want things to change I have to be the change I want to see right? Right. So today I decided to be vulnerable. Today is really hard for me. I deal with anxiety as if that isn’t enough, personally I’m working on some things as well.
Have you ever seen your progress but it not be enough? That’s sort of my dilemma. I’m not happy with just merely existing. I can work schedules for my family like no one’s business, bake, cook, and make sure everyone around me has what they need and today I choose to focus on my insides. Deal with my heart issues. Give them to God as I know He is the one that can make them better as long as I do my work to get there. I’m not suggesting that by writing this I’m going to be in a jolly mood because reality would tell me differently. What I do know is slowly I will get there.
If you too woke up feeling the weight of your hurt and pain or the weight of your own thoughts, take some time to acknowledge it today. I know we should be somber and think on Jesus and we will but we have to be able to lay our hearts down on the table and be transparent. Do we think He doesn’t know our issues? Does He not hear? That’s the reason for day. He took all of what I feel today, all of the wrongs I would ever commit and said I have another plan. He knew that we on our own wasn’t enough and today He is reminding us that He is enough. I am enough because of it and that alone will change how I interact with others. Today you are enough!