Ask Toi: Is it normal for parents to call during a couple’s honeymoon?

No. I think its customary that unless the parents are keeping young children of the couple to not call.  Let’s face it you won’t be focused on friends and family too much while you are relaxing and loving on each other.  I’m sorry to hear that your husband’s mom kept calling you during the honeymoon.  I think in large, expectations should have been discussed with your husband between you two and then he with his mom.  Unless there’s an emergency no one whether it is parents or not should be disturbing you.  Honeymoons are designed to allow you to decompress from wedding planning, relax with your mate, and allow you to explore each other.  Yes explore is a another word for sex, what is a honeymoon without sex and romance?

Now when I went to my honeymoon in Hawaii, I had two kids by then we called my parents to say we were there and any other calls that were made outside of notifying us of Hurricane Sandy we made the calls to them.  My parents never would have called just to see what we are doing.  They knew what we were doing, enjoying our honeymoon. Unfortunately in your situation you can’t get the honeymoon time back.  Now that you see how things are when you travel you need to have a conversation with your new husband about how you felt about the interruptions.  I do believe that when you are on your honeymoon or any other romantic trip that unless a person is on the trip, they can wait until you arrive home outside of an emergency.

I encourage all couples that are going to be on their honeymoon to have that talk about what honeymooning means. To me it seems pretty straight forward that people would respect your time away but apparently that doesn’t happen.  Which brings me to the next topic of issue.  Texting.  I think texting is a beautiful thing.  However on honeymoons, romantic trips or just about any one on one time whether an intimate dinner, texting should be a huge NO.  Yes parents, cousins, friends are all off limits.  The issue with most couples is that cell phones, social media is getting in the way of connecting.  It’s not the gadgets that are the issue its the people controlling them.  You can’t give your mate a few hours of your time.  You can’t laugh and stare into their eyes without hitting your phone? Stop.  Even when you are at home and your mate wants to talk, give them the respect to do that.

Lastly I know we love to post away while on our honeymoon and as long as your mate is okay with that do what you will.  However I think a honeymoon will be something you will always remember.  Focus less on posting and more on enjoying one another.  When I returned from our Hawaii trip I posted the pictures we could post and the others well they are between my husband and I.  We allowed others to see some of the sites but we have so many memories that we alone share.  Remember often times after honeymoons its back to the grind so don’t waste not even a second on people who I get are excited for you but can wait.  You are building the stepping stones for your new marriage.

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