Ask Toi: I am a father who doesn’t fix things, how do I teach my son?

I would say experience is the best teacher. You will need to get up under another man who can fix things and learn from him.  This could be family or friends.  In this age of technology you can learn skills online too.  There are classes you can take at places like Home Depot.  Its important to research what you want your son to know.  Things like basic plumbing, putting things together, cutting grass will be necessary skills.  He should be able to handle basic tools. 

I know you say your dad wasn’t around but in order to give your son these skills it will require you to learn or take him to the places with you.  Its important for him to be able to do the basics.  I know for me being a woman I learned from my dad so it would be beneficial for your son to do the same.  A lot of women who didn’t have dads like me are in homes where men don’t know the basics and unfortunately I know that some men and women get into arguments behind this.

I’ve heard of women having to step up and the men who don’t have these skills get angry at women for “taking male roles.”  Now let me say I’m not going to lie and say it’s not something that is disheartening but it’s fact.  Everyone should be able to live and have basic skills.  My admonition to the man is not to get mad at a woman who had a dad teaching her as a jab to your manhood.  My mom taught or attempted to teach my brother how to cook and clean.  These are life skills.  Its not male or female intended.  You don’t graduate from high school with a husband or wife and even if you do basic skills for life are necessary across the board.

Its nothing wrong in acknowledging that you don’t have but the choice in obtaining them is easy.  Go get what you wished your dad had given you.  When your son is older he won’t have the same testimony that you have.  He will be equipped to handle the basics. He will have a father who is there for him to navigate him towards these kids skills.

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