Albert Einstein once said, energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” So of course given that I spent a lot of my energy this weekend getting fueled for the week I have to ask, what are you giving your energy to? We spend so much time denying the lack of energy of others in hopes it will mean something different than what is directly in front of us.
If you are in a relationship of some sort, whether romantic or not than you know about energy. We sometimes dismiss others’ energy output and justify it. For instance if you are dating or even married when the person is not doing what they once did, instead of accepting that it is what it is we will make an excuse. I know in a magical princess castle we would love to misplace it but reality of it is it is what it is. You can’t get the person to do what you asked. You asked a simple request such as do not be late. However time after time they are. Let me guess they are just a late person right? Maybe but the fact that they can repeatedly do it to you over and over again is simple, you allow it. What can you do to change it? Simple you either give the late person a wrong time or you leave them and attend whatever the event without them. What? I can’t do that?! No you just don’t want to. Why put yourself in a situation where you are dependent on someone who shows you that being on time at your simple request doesn’t matter? Why keep arguing and going around on the merry-go-round when you know where it will lead? Stop them by being accountable for you. I personally have been in this place. I took accountability. The other person eventually stepped up. They understood if it was only affecting them then be late but when its others depending on you than step up. That was the ideal response but what if it didn’t work out that way? I would have to step it up and do what I had to do.
Just like the person you are madly in love with puts more energy into other things like hanging with his/her friends, personal endeavors and gives you the leftovers and you ask and ask and ask but it falls on death ears. So what do you do? We say things like he/she loves me they just are tired. He/she loves me I just make them mad. He/she loves me I…. Just stop. Speak up to the one you love. Call to their attention. Then when they don’t mark them mentally as they don’t plain old want to. Then make an action plan on what you want to do from there. When you do this you make it about you and less about them. We focus on the other person instead of being confident to say that you need what you need and you aren’t getting it. In love relationships when you are with the wrong one, they will put you down and say that you being too moody, too needy, too everything and make you feel less than just to not give you what you need. Explore if what you think or thought you wanted is what you needed. Sometimes we want what we want and its has nothing to do with what we need. Sometimes we want something so bad for the sake of wanting it and it wasn’t meant for you. That was a lot. Go back and re-read that last line again. Your desire for what you want sometimes fuels you to get it but then when you get it you realize it wasn’t what you want. I know, I know that stepped on a few toes but be careful. I used to want this guy back obviosly before I was married. He was everything I thought I wanted. He was funny, well built body, caring, giving, nice, we seemed to just click. But….I got with him and he wasn’t what I needed. He was the polar opposite of what I had envisoned a relationship would be like. Make sure what you want in your head and your heart line up.
Your energy is important. Let me give you another example. I had this boss I will keep nameless. Everyday they were just a bad manager. Nothing like accountability, manageability, coachability was in them. What you don’t have you can get out. They would make sure their friend (s) were taken care. They wouldn’t have to do much work. They could talk to others anyway they wanted and yet the same opportunities wasn’t given to all. I would get more and more mad and then I sat to myself and said what can I do. I have sat down and gone over everything. I have documented everything via email. I am spending more energy into making my manager become better when one they hadn’t been trained to manage and my power to make someone change stopped at the end of my nose. So I changed me. I used my energy to look for other opportunities. When they came and my time was up, it was time to go. It was the best thing I had ever done. Transferred my energy into making me better instead of focusing my energy into other unwilling vessels.
Let’s give you one more example. You ever have that one family member that is always so down on everyone. They uplift the ones they love but they look down on others if you don’t fit the mold they envisioned for you. Remember everyone can see what you can’t or won’t see, but then there are times when people’s vision just need to be checked. So when you find yourself in a place where you have to contend for approval, you need to transfer the energy. Stop focusing on they always, they never, they have to, why can’t they, I wish they….
Transfer that energy into what can I do to make my dreams come true. What can I do to make me better? Does that mean you don’t help others? No. You do but that doesn’t mean you have to help everybody. Don’t give your energy to allow others to misuse you or mistreat you. You don’t have to be a door mat or a stepping stone for others to emotionally or mentally abuse you. So today take charge. Watch how much time you spend on things that aren’t getting you towards a goal. Watch how much time you spend with things that are depleting you. Watch how much time you spend on negativity. Everything don’t need to be tea worthy especially when you can’t maintain your mental space. Sometimes the very thing you entertain is causing you issues or unnecessary stress. Transfer your energy into the right people and that way you will be in the right places. Some relationships are meant to be temporary but you keep giving them permanent space. Then you wonder why your world is always turned upside down. Find your happiness and command within yourself to keep it. Often times we are our worst enemy but we have the power to change that.