Ask Toi: Is it okay for married couples to vacation separetely?

I do not think its an issue depending on the situation.  If you are taking a guys or girls only trip than there’s nothing wrong with it.  I don’t believe that once you are married you have to cut off all of your single friends I think you need to learn to balance and surround yourself with more married ones.  This means don’t cut off your boys or your good girlfriends because they are single, make them respect your marriage and relationship. Going on separate vacations can be a good thing.  It allows you to have fun and let your hair down.  It’s not an open door to disrespect yourself or your marriage which is what a lot of people take it as.  It’s not a hall pass to do what you want.  You should have a vacation with your spouse, a trip with friends, and a trip by yourself.  I know that’s a lot but if you plan accordingly you can keep yourself mind, body, and spirit completely in order by getting your social alignment in order.  We look at marriage as a death trap and that’s because we put all of these rules in place.  Whatever you and your husband or wife agree to should be okay.  Remember no two marriages are ever the same.  Whatever works in one doesn’t mean it work in the other. Be open and take parts of marriages you like but learn to make the rules in your love fest.  No one has a vote in that but the two that made the commitment.  The only rule that should never deviate is respect across the lines in all that you do when you are with and away from your spouse.

The only time it’s not okay to go on vacation without your spouse if you taking a trip with another person of the opposite sex.  I don’t care that you and your best friend who is of the opposite sex are going and going in separate hotel rooms, that’s a huge no no. Often times we will justify what we want but if the tables was turned wouldn’t be okay with it.  My rule is if it’s good for the goose its good for the gander.  So no don’t even do it.  No it’s not okay to go on vacation with your boss.  Vacations are intimate settings so if you aren’t with friends in a group setting miss me with the we just friends it’s all good. It’s never all good. No one would be okay with that level of disrespect.  Why even put yourself in a tight situation.  Were you taking vacations with your special friend prior to your marriage and in the dating phase and your man or woman was okay with it? Always keep the respect line stable in your relationship.  If it makes your significant other uncomfortable than don’t do anything to bring in issues unnecessarily.  You got married for a reason if you aren’t about keeping a marriage solid, than you definitely made a bad move to begin with.

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