Little cheating, Run like hell or nah?

So I swear the Internet is a real bona-fide  trip.  So the meme that I’m using as you can see is very direct that women stay in questionable relationships if the money bags is right.  Now let me say that is a very fair statement to say but not always true.

Disclaimer: I don’t agree with calling a woman a bitch.  Let’s get that out the way from the top.

The other examples used in a discussion I was apart of said Cookie Johnson stayed with Magic Johnson even with HIV for money.  The counter argument was that Cookie couldn’t have stayed with Magic just for money because she would have made out more in divorce.  To be honest no one knows that for sure.  For the record loyalty is important so for me if my husband is bringing home some life altering sexual disease home, best believe I would have to protect my bottom line.  I don’t judge Cookie.  Her tolerance level is different from mine.  But my husband knows to risk my life is risking the lives of my 3 superstars and momma ain’t having it.

The next example used was Camilla Cosby with Bill Cosby and the rape allegations against him.  I have publicly said and I’ll say it again no one knows what Camilla is doing and where she stands with Bill.  To be honest she could be legally married and living separate from him.  The point in these examples is there is no one size fits all.  How do we not know Camilla ain’t in the house having a Madea (I can do bad by myself) moment behind closed doors?

Every last one of us as people have breaking points as well as deal breakers .   For some cheating isn’t at the top. Some of our own mothers, grandmothers, and other maternal figures have stayed in less than stellar situations.  What I will say is that I think no one should be in a situation that doesn’t honor them, disrespectful, or filled with violence either.  What one woman chooses especially in a marriage is a personal decision.

There have been women who have been in raggedy relationships and walked away without much to little financial gain.  You can be with a man with all the money in the world and decide enough is enough.  You can be with a broke man and decide that you have had enough as well.  In marriage it’s not black and white.  There is some gray. I know people’s Facebook or Instagram would give a false ideal that marriage is a perfect union but it’s not.  Sometimes it boils down to what you end up tolerating.  Tolerance is subjective.  No I’m not minimizing marriage in the least bit, but after you ride and continue to ride the waves of marriage, real love comes with test.  If you pass or fail it’s a decision that is made on your wedding day and renewed daily even when you ready to roll.  Oh wait that’s right marriage never has moments when you ready to pack up and leave or mentally check out but you come back, right? Oh sorry you have the wrong mental picture of marriage.

Free nugget: stop measuring your marriage or relationship against another’s.  You are the one that has to live with your decisions no one else’s.

Money does rule the world but how it runs your relationship or not is up to you.  If I was you but I’m not, I wouldn’t bank on a man as a financial plan.  If you think if he acts up you will be so paid you will be good forever, rethink that plan.  Many women before and after have had to deal with men who run and evade the court to prevent paying, they will leave a good paying job, move in with they momma or friend just to avoid it, or you could go to court and the judge side with the man.  The options are endless and endlessly could leave you with a broke face and an even more broke bank account.  Some women even with kids involved have had to start all over again.  So be careful with the money will heal my pain all the way to the bank.  You could easily be on your way back to mommas house with your kids having to make it work.  I personally know of a few who this has happened to and happily it ended well for them.  They didn’t depend on the men for a financial plan but they we’re able to leave and make it work with hard work.  Divorce isn’t a paycheck.

Know your own deal breakers and never make a decision to end things on the tier of the  financial gain.  Never stay with someone to save face, protect kids feelings or just because you just too comfortable to leave.  Stay or leave because you want.  I do believe in doing all you can to save a failing marriage.  If there are options still to be pursued than do so.  Hopefully its being pursued by both parties.

Cheating is bad and I think we can all agree to that but if you stay or if you leave is up to you.  Money will not change the hurt and disappointment or embarrassment.  Yes it will temporarily give you a feeling of winning but what have you won? A little bank roll and a do not pass go pass?  Congrats!

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