Let’s clear the Air

So let me say I’m sorry for being a little absent.  Not like Beyonce’s sorry but a real hey my bad sorry. I’ve been getting my life right with the past week’s activities. Literally there’s been no moments to breath.  I’m actually writing this as my youngest is recovering from a small sickness.  Life  is life.  Some days you have good days and then often times not.

One of the things we need to be clear about is when you are searching for answers sometimes we get bombarded by too many messages.  Think about it good messages are great but often times we try to smash and jumble all the messages together.  Its like going to a buffet and eating all food in sight but later on you’re sick.

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Messages come from many places.  Most from inside of you.  Those are the messages you need to tend to.  Whatever you talk about the most is what you’re really struggling with.  That’s why it’s important to be sure when you speak openly about them to others that it’s someone who can divide your situation correctly.  You do not need someone who will pet you.  You need someone who will tell you what’s wrong and at the end no matter how right you are, there is always somewhere you can do better.  Yes you not just the person you are complaining about.

You are responsible for you.  I’ve tried many times to be able to pass the Buck and make others the issue when in reality it boiled down to something I wasn’t giving myself.  For instance the times I’m like oh I’m not loved it was really I wasn’t loving and embracing myself like I should.  Self love is way more important than we give credit.

What about the times you feel like the world is against you but often times we self talk ourselves in unhealthy ways.  I’m  too fat,  my hair is too short, my arms are too flabby all of these messages pick away at our self esteem way before someone else points it out. I have to recall a conversation I had with my mom awhile ago. Sorry mom I’m spilling the tea today.  I was in my whoa is me mood and she said well if you was so bad who’s the crazy one you or the person who made the choice to be around you?  Her point was simple, as bad as I wanted to have my pity party I’m not as bad as my mind made me seem.  I was fine and those who we’re around me by choice are fine with me.  Now that didn’t mean she didn’t turn around and give me an adult get it together talk, but the purpose was to uplift not help me break myself down.

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So take a moment to check you first.   Where can you make changes that will better serve you?  Self improvement isn’t selfish it’s necessary.  There’s no time to entertain everything you see, read, and hear.  Somethings are informational only.  They don’t need you to be impulsive.  They don’t need to do anything.

What are you searching for?  When you go looking you will find it.  This applies on so many levels.  While you are searching learn to let the things go that make you go backward.  You don’t have to receive every message and make things happen.  I’ve had people tell me negative things that didn’t serve a purpose outside of making me more angry, more insecure and that was the point.  If anything you take those messages and turn it around.  However when you are in a bad head space you become a sponge for that type of environment.

Partnerships

Relationships are supposed to be healthy extensions of yourself. They work better when you enter them healthy and happy.  This prevents you from using the relationship as a leech. Relationships of any kind should be something that makes you better not make you take a thousand steps back.  What does it really mean to be a partner? Someone who gives 100%, supportive, reliable, the list goes on.  Partnerships aren’t about self.  They can’t be entered by selfish people.  Some times who we partner with can be just as damaging if not more to your progress.

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Think about the agreements you made.  Is there real agreement?  Was there a real commitment? Do you really see eye to eye. Do you spend more time trying to get someone on board and it’s a fight 99% of the time?  Its like you are ship wrecked and have a life jacket but having to convince the other partner to put it on.  How many times can you save a person before you realize they don’t want saved?

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Take a moment today to either be all in to becoming a better person, and if you are in the right partnership to being a better partner.  If you’re not happy is it the other’s person fault for not saving someone who doesn’t want saved?  Sometimes we put more pressure on others that we don’t put on ourselves.  One thing I had to come to terms with your deeds say a lot but your deeds alone won’t cut.  If you are a woman or man you can’t “do” into a good relationship.  For instance if you’re a Suzy homemaker just because you are on point in household items but you are a miserable woman to live with, does that mean your works cancel how you treat others? Eh, nope. Don’t you need clean clothes, a hot meal,  and a clean house no matter what?  Sooooo it could be argued that you can’t stand on that alone.

Men don’t worry you’re not escaping.  Yes you can roll out at any time just like the women but provision although is a lot is not the only thing you have to do to make it work.  Paying bills can be done by anyone.  News flash the way this get a man for a financial plan life is set up you don’t got enough coin to keep a woman on that alone.  Let me be clear that doesn’t take a way from your hard work that you do but to be a partner you too have to meet needs on all levels.

The messages we entertain can affect our daily lives. It also can affect how we interact with others. Where do you think shade comes from? An indirect message meant to get at you from a person who doesn’t know how to be real and honest from themselves for the most part. Say ouch trust me I’ve said it too.  When you can learn to gleam what’s for you and be honest where you can do better, that’s when self improvement can really stick.  Life isn’t a magic trick.  You only fool so many for so long. Sooner or later you got to lay that acting role down and be authentic.

Take what you need and let the rest be what it is.  Be a dope individual.  Someone who has it together and is sound or daily striving towards it.  Partner with someone who wants AND is actively seeking the same thing.

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