Throwback Thursday to my Former Life

Shout out to all of the SAHM (stay at home moms).  Shout out to my working moms too. Yes shout out to each and every one of you.  Yesterday I had to stay home with my youngest due to an ear infection.  If you have a child and they have an ear infection you know that’s like the end of the world to them.  Oh and did I mention she is 2?  Yup, if you add an ear infection to the downfalls of the terrible two’s you should just stop what you are doing and hold a vigil for me.  Yes now to my readers who do not have children, kudos to you and let me explain right off the bat that I love all 3 of my children but they are work.  If you never read a blog by me and are looking for one of those power puff girl responses about my day at home with a sick 2-year-old, do yourself a favor and stop reading.  Click off and click off now.  Why?  I am real and my 2-year-old sent me to my wine bottle and she made me question everything about being a mom in less than 24 hours.

Dealing with my 2-year-old lately has been almost like being hazed.  I don’t condone it or make the rules but that’s about what it is boils down to.  She is sassy and direct and I love that about her personality.  However the down fall to that is that her demands although normal for her age are quite a lot to take in.  She is in control and we are attempting to teach her and make it out alive.  No really we are.  She is the last of our clan and she knows it.  So let’s start with normal meltdowns that toddlers experience. They ask for a snack you give them one and what happens?  They don’t want it.  What?  No you didn’t just reject this good snack?  But sadly she does and did yesterday. Everything was on a thousand.  I get it.  If my ear was ringing and paining I too would be less stellar but let’s keep it real as parents it’s hard to practice more patience all the time.  So back to snack land I go until now I have to eat the snacks to not have them wasted.  Did she actually eat a snack?  Of course not!!

Now I was a stay at home mom for 3 years straight. Then I went back to work and had to do it for another few months.  It was great.  I had set lessons for my kids, I had warm meals on the table and a fairly clean house on a good day.  However being a stay at home mom is the toughest job there is.  No one gets the lack of adult interactions that stay at home moms have.  Its like being in a bubble and the only thing you have is your kids and noodles stuck in your hair.  It’s hard work.  Long gone are the days where stay at home moms get to watch soap operas daily and eat chocolates. No even the basic of stay at home moms have it hard too. Can you imagine having to put a child that refuses to sleep and still have a load of laundry and dinner to put on the stove?  Yes if you are doing it right the balance never seems to fit.  I’m not saying it can’t be done, because I did it and did it well. However on the flip if you aren’t the type that is intentional in keeping your sanity you can and will lose yourself quickly. You will hear your kids doing things when you finally do get a moment to yourself.

Mommy guilt is real and trust me every emotion I felt when I was home with the kids came rushing back.  I was so hands on playing with my daughter’s friends.  By friends I mean Mickey, Minnie, and Donald while trying to get her to do simple tasks like eat or at least drink.  I was in the moment when we colored.  I was in the moment when we did flash cards. How hard was it?  When my husband was on his way home I had 2 glasses of wine. Why? I like wine and after the first sip it felt like I was in a sea of beautiful flowers.  It didn’t matter if I didn’t have the house clean.  All that mattered was there was a hot meal on the table and I had managed not to flip out from all of the ups and downs.  I had managed to count to 10 when my 2-year-old knocked the cup of water down purposely.  I had managed to do pick ups with the older two as my 2-year-old cried non stop without taking a breath because she didn’t want to wear a seat belt.  I had managed after she got out of the seat belt to safely pull over and re-tighten her belt and keep driving.  Now grant it I went back to work whistling because I knew that my daycare provider had her.  It was only one 2-year-old but if you have had to watch a 2 year old you know they are like little confused adults.

I love my kids and would make the sacrifice to be a stay at home mom if I had to that has been proven now twice.  I love being home with them but I am an honest woman.  I know that they can have more mood swings than a little bit.  I know if I am honest with myself that little people can drive you crazy even if it’s for a few moments.  I think with motherhood whether you are a stay at home mom or not motherhood is 24 hours.  Even now at work I am calculating what it will take to get home, get dinner done, get my oldest to practice, etc. It never stops.  In the world where we act and pretend like it’s just a walk in the park than when other moms step into it and overwhelmed we make them feel like hey you got pregnant suck it up. No.  If you are a mom and you are reading this understand that I get it. You love them but you really have to sometimes lock yourself in a room for a few minutes so you regain your thoughts and come out and do it right.  I would rather a mom do that then to snap and kill her kids.  You know if we talked candidly about these things that we all will go through people won’t feel so isolated.  To my moms stay at home, and full-time working moms I get it.  We are not perfect and I for one won’t pretend to have it together.  I may have to revisit the wine store cause the bottle is gone. Why?  Cause simply I did what I needed to do with my kids and that was be present and put my frustrations to the side.  My reward, Moscato and happy kids.  Now that’s real. Stay strong fellow moms.  To the ones that are thinking about having kids please understand that life isn’t like it is on television.  One day is never the same as the next.  Count up the cost.  I wouldn’t have it any other way because the love I have for my children is strong. However  I am woman enough to say that they drive me to start off each day with fresh eyes.  Parenting is frustrating and rewarding.

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