So this weekend I needed to regroup mentally. I had a lot on my heart and mind. I needed to figure out some things for myself. I had already scheduled some time with my bestie and even though my kidlets had a little viral infection, I kept my plans. I didn’t allow my normal dose of mommy guilt stop me. They were with their dad and he did a great job.
While I was away the first thing I was able to do was take my almost 2 hour drive and listen to adult music. No wheels on the bus, no Johnny Johnny, and no Disney songs allowed. It was refreshing. I was able to be a woman for a day. Some times you need to be able to have a little time to remind yourself not to be just an extension of a relationship or motherhood. I almost could have gone home after that great drive and I didn’t have to share a snack.
I had the best day I’ve had in a long time. One shout out to my bestie and her hubs. They took great care of me. It was carefree with no drama. We ate well, played well, and me and the bestie had a great pedicure. For a mom that pedicure seemed like a full day spa session. Quiet and relaxation was the only thing I sought after. I needed time to care for me.
I had a conversation with another friend about someone they knew, a woman who was making moves. It wasn’t me but it felt like everything good all rolled into one situation. I was overjoyed to hear that women are okay with doing things outside of what society deems. She was able to pave a great future and she had a supportive partner. Those are major wins for women. To be able to have love and not have to choose between career and family is the ultimate dream.
Growing up I would hear that if women didn’t stay with their kids every awakening moment they were bad mothers. I get it like my mom told me when you have children they are your total responsibility. I take motherhood seriously however if you have a partner it’s okay to have that partner help in the raising of the children as well. Women are often guilted in the idea that they can’t pursue great careers, take trips, or have ambition when they become mothers. Yet we make a big deal when moms have babies in hips and still finish school. Why isn’t this the norm?
Women are good at handling more than one responsibility. We are good in holding things down because for so many they don’t have a choice. Its crazy to me of the many single mothers who have learned to navigate life on their own yet the married live as if they are alone daily. We know some men are just raggedy but to he honest it’s not availability of men it’s women feeling like we have to wear the S on our chest every single day.
Married mothers you have a partner learn to partner. Your husband wants to get drinks with their boys and they go. They want to go hang out for a few hours they go. Yet you don’t link your calendar with his and make going out for a few hours a priority. Let me say it took me forever to stop feeling guilty. I need me time. I need time to regroup just like other women. I’m just one bold enough to admit it. Meanwhile there are other moms who are craving time to go out and let their hair down. Take it. Trust me you will be better when you return. You will be able to take on any challenge.
As I finished this great day, I came home to one sick little boy who needed his mom to step in. Guess what, I am there and was there but with a refreshed outlook. Taking a break doesn’t make you weak. It doesn’t mean you aren’t cut out to be a good mom. You aren’t a machine. Take a break and come back and be the great mom you already are.
Don’t wait until you’re screaming at your kids, mad at your partner and the world to take a break. Recognize what you need and be vigilant in getting what you need. Sometimes a few hours can be a mini vacation for your mind. Trust me you can tap out fast.
Now to the moms that’s breaking everyday, this isn’t for you. You taking breaks for all of us. Your kids calling you on a first name basis and calling your mom, mom isn’t the business either. Balance is key to making anything work.