Now let me say I have written many blogs about jobs. I have had many since I have been working since I was 16 years old. I have been fortunate that to have some really good bosses, but the ones that have been raggedy have been all the way raggedy. There is a game that is played when you are at work. It means often times having to bite your tongue. I am a direct person if you can’t tell by my blogs but when I am at work I have to find a balance. Why? People are sensitive and word choice matters.
Here are some examples of how I have been able to avoid smacking a boss. One know the type of attitude and persona you are dealing with. When you are in the early phase of working with a boss often times it takes time to figure it out. Often times everyone wants to be so pleasant and if you are not careful you will find yourself in the middle of a whirlwind when their personality takes a different spin. Now let’s be clear there are some bosses that are genuinely nice. They care about you and they want the work relationship to work. When you work in smaller companies and I find that is sometimes more the case than larger corporations that only see employees as another number.
I have worked for some bosses that made me sit in the parking lot and pray myself into the building. I have had this happen to a total of 3 times. All 3 times I prayed and asked God to open the door for me to get something else and He did. However I had to go and do what I had to do until a opporutnity came. Let me put it to you in the terms you can understand, it sucked. I cried many days. It was the worst thing to be in when your talents are not being seen for what they need to be. When you are being passed up because friendships made with bosses supersedes work ethic. I even had a boss hit on me for sex and when I declined it went to hell in a basket. Gasp. Yes I have seen a lot of foolishness in my day with bosses. So with that in mind know a few things:
- Bosses are people. Just like people you will not vibe well with them all the time. Sometimes you have to leave people to their own devices.
- Do not cross over the friendship line. End of day some bosses couldn’t care less if you suck up to them. Don’t put your heart and soul out there and start befriending them on social media and get played.
- Know the type of personality you can and can’t work with. Let’s keep it real sometimes you just got to work and make your money so you get into situations but if you can avoid it don’t go there.
- Get a career and not a job. Get some skills set that makes it easier for you to be more marketable should you ever have to leave a position. Never get so stuck that you aren’t willing to get some new skills under your belt.
Back to the bosses from hell. Let’s talk about the boss I had that propositioned me for sex. He was a douche. Everything about him was jerk like. The way he treated others was disgusting. I knew I was only there for a season so I knew I had to keep my distance and do what I needed to do. I never allowed myself in the same room. I wanted to call my dad and a few uncles that don’t mind getting their hands dirty but I played my cards right. I began to record his foolishness. As I set my time to leave, I left with a few parting gifts. I showed his director the tapes, and let’s say last time I checked he’s still struggling to find work. I am not rejoicing in his misfortune, but if you are a boss that is reading this know a few things. One you can’t treat folks wrong and expect a good return. Just because your company turns a blind eye doesn’t mean karma will. That girl Karma is good and she never misses. So stop and think if you were in the same position how you would want to be treated.
I had a boss that promised the world but then when they began to get they forget about all of the little people. Yep you got it they went back on the lovely promises. I do NOT take anything that is said as face value unless you willing to write it up and sign your name period. I say that to say that often times we get so worked up at something we are expecting from a boss but bosses will say what they think you want to hear just so they can get a certain level of work out of you. Those I like to call the trinket holders. They like to give you little things in hopes that they can overwork you. They are the ones that will give you carrots until you get to the finishing race but all the while you didn’t notice them zapping your strength, your family time,etc. Be careful of these types of bosses.
Now to my I don’t have a boss because I am the boss folks, you better take heed too. You can not run any type of business without the help of another person who will be under you. What that means is simple, you need to make sure you practice what you too have experienced. I had one boss who was pretty much the most ignorant thing I had ever met. I was glad that it was short-lived. He had a lot of others fooled. I had some issues that I put on the table, but he or she I won’t say this particular sex of the boss was out-of-pocket. The others around them thought the world of them. Why was I getting the ugly stick, simple I was there to do my job but he or she didn’t have anything to entice me with. No this time I’m not talking about sex. Some people will put up with bad behavior from a boss if that means getting what they want in return. I was not buying. I called the spade the spade and it wasn’t liked. I told my husband when I started with him how the situation was going to go down. I too have kids so I took one for the team. However I knew where I was with him and where it was headed. I’m not prophet but let me just say every time I said he or she would, they did. If you are a good discern or reader of people and their attitudes and behavior you can tell what type of things you will get from them.
Stop putting your boss on a peddlestool or making them the devil without knowing that you have to play the game. However if you are being repeatedly disrespected work hard and then work harder at finding a position that will honor you. Life is too short to be an adult crying at work because you keep getting passed over, disrespected, ignored, played between the middle, or any other hardships you may be experiencing. I have only left one job and didn’t have another one in its place. The stress levels were out-of-pocket and if a person ever asked me about working for that individual I would tell you to run like hell. I mean that I do NOT care how nice folks appear to be I have seen it all behind the scenes and I am down right brutally honest. If I am ever asked to train someone I tell them flat-out and tell them what to look for. So far I’ve been on the money and right because I know what it takes.
This is not a blog to bash bosses. So I don’t need the angry mob of folks with the I can’t believe you told folks that. To be honest, people know what type of boss you are if you are one. If you want to become a better boss, think about what it was like when you weren’t one. Keep those feelings and mindset in mind when working with a team. If you are someone dealing with a difficult boss, don’t smack them. Do they deserve it? Some definitely do, but prison gear isn’t flattering on most. Do what you got to do until you go somewhere else. IF you found yourself miserable, crying, upset, stressed, or over worked as you sat in your car this morning on your morning commute, than please make a change. Some times you can talk to your boss and get to an understanding. Often times folks won’t understand until you give your notice. Chalk it up to the game.