Is it Stupid to Stay in a Marriage where the spouse has continued to cheat…

So of course this is inspired by Basketball Wives LA.  If you didn’t watch the opening series this past Sunday, do not fear  this isn’t a total recap of the show.  So if you remember from last season for my faithful watchers, Malaysia Pargo is divorced.  Meanwhile her friend, Brandi Maxwell is still separated from her husband, Jason Maxwell.  Last season it came out that he cheated.  From the looks of the show, he was attempting to make things right however he has according to Brandi, still cheating. Malaysia let her friend know that she is stubborn and needs to work out their marriage.  I get what she is saying to some degree. When you divorce and you have a child, being a single mom isn’t as easy.  However if they live separated lives now due to his infidelity I do belive she will manage.

Malaysia last season met with Brandi’s husband to convince him to make his marriage work.  No harm and no foul done.  However as we know no matter what another person does, it’s up to the person to make the change.  I’ve blogged about deal breakers before in marriage.  Marriage is a personal committment.  For Malaysia to insist that Brandi is stubborn because she’s not working hard enough in her marriage, is a little misguided. Malaysia is only being told one side of the situation.  It’s not hard nor difficult for Jason to be faithful.  If it is than he needs to do like he’s doing and not reap the benefits of his wife. Why should she continue in disrespectful patterns with this man?  Security? Love? Sex?

Now again like Malaysia I am an outsider but let me be clear.  A mistake is a one time thing.  You apologize because you are sincerely sorry  and you do NOT let something like an affair continue.  Once you continue in a pattern it’s no longer a mistake but it’s who you are.  You can’t convince anyone not even Satan of your sincerity at that point.  Please understand that there are some women who will take a man cheating and all and be okay with that.  For most which should be the standard that will not fly.  Now if she continues to take him back after many times exposing this on national television, hey that’s her cross to bear.  But ladies telling another women they need to stick it out in their marriage after they have gone to counseling, separated and have put their soul on the line, please stop.  We all have our breaking point.  A real girlfriend would have said hey, I know you are in a tough spot but you need to figure out what you want.  Not condemn her efforts after what we visually see her doing.  Ladies, men come and go and just like that, we do not have to continue in a situation that disrespect us.  No man is worth all of that trouble.  I know it’s harder to get divorced and I wouldn’t push a woman towards it.  However, why stay when he is showing he doesn’t want to honor his own vows.  This decision I am sure will unfold more as the season progresses.  But ladies we are sisters.  We do not need to high-five bad behavior of any kind.  Brandi isn’t stupid.  She is figuring things out.  Women need to support another to find their own paths.  If a friend says they are tired then let them be tired.  You do not need to berate another women for their decisions.  I am sure it’s all because Malaysia doesn’t want Brandi to go through what she went through but its a chance she took in love and basketball.


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