National Failures Day

Well if you’re already on the edge about your life and in particular about mistakes you may have made, well today is your day.   No it’s not the day to wallow in despair it’s a day to remember and move forward.

Life is hard.   If I could say I was perfect that would be a lie.   I just blogged about lying and how it almost cost me the love of my life.  If you think my mistakes stopped at college than you live in LA LA land and I need one of your one way tickets.  Mistakes for me happen sometimes daily. Intentions don’t always make a difference either.   You can have great intention but when you mess up very few are willing to hear what you intended to do.   Are they wrong for not taking an extra chance?  Nope life is a proving ground.  Nothing not even respect is simply handed over.  You must work and earn it.

I have failed many days.   Some of my failures were due to my lack of planning.  I’ve failed at love. I’ve dated a man who only wanted a place to stay and stability yet couldn’t offer it in return.   I’ve dated a man who wanted kids from different women who was living at home with his momma and had been fired from several jobs.   Yes me, that was me looking for love in all the wrong places. I’ve failed by not completing my dream of becoming an attorney. This was something that I’ve wanted since the 2nd grade. Can I still do it? Absolutely.

I’ve failed at family relationships.  Yes family and who you are related to doesn’t change but the extent of how I moved in those relationships have been hit or miss.  Some are easily justified and some were from my own issues that clouded the love that could have flourished.

I’ve had failures at jobs.   I haven’t ever been fired but I’ve been passed up for promotions many of times and felt worthless.  Was the promotion worth more than my self esteem?  Nope but temporarily you allow self pity to take over. The bottom line is whether in personal matters,  employment, or even love no one person is above another.  The failure isn’t in what you lost its in not losing hope. You can fix just about anything in your life if you think about it. It takes time but often times at the second of giving up, it’s where the true essence of perseverance stops or continues.

Failures make you stronger. If I hadn’t failed at love I wouldn’t have been at a point now with my love life where I know what I will and will not tolerate.  That isn’t to say date everyone until you get to that point,  but it takes a few failed loves to get you focused. Yes a few frogs do come your way.  Now to any ex(s) that may come across this blog, we just wasn’t meant to be.   That’s quite evident but the failure wasn’t in you the person it was the unit that wasn’t to be.  

If you feel like the very bottom of your life has fallen out of your life, take heart you will make it.  You really have to understand that at the bottom is the will to get up IF you want it.   You can’t just sit there.  You can’t just stay there crying and in despair.   Can you have a moment?  We all have them but to just wallow that comes from lack of hope.  If you can read this blog you have the opportunity to make a different plan.  You don’t even have to do big moves either.   Some times small moves make a difference.  For instance when I found the pattern of love interest I was involved with I checked me.   I got me together.   I no longer attempted to make the man I was dating line up to my vision.  He wasn’t anyway. I realigned what I wanted.   It’s not a magic trick.  My now husband didn’t run to me.  I literally had to go through a drought. Yep no men,  no dates.   I still failed again right before he came back into my life. Even after I had him I failed numerous times, trying to take things back to the “earlier days. “

Failure is inevitable. Stop trying to make the failure stop.  The only way to make it stop is to stop the inward battle.  Often times we fight ourselves. We fight what we think we were,  used to be, and want to be.  These different areas are never supposed to overlap.  You can’t go back and grab the old you,  what you dreamt to be, and then mesh it without separating and conquering through. 

Failure sucks no doubt.   So yes happy failures day.   Look at your failures and realize how blessed you are to look back.   Many people literally die within the failure.  They don’t want to acknowledge it even though others can see it. You have the ability to turn failure into victory.  Are you willing to keep going past the talks,  the whispers, the humiliation? If so then welcome to a better life. If not welcome to the continued circle.  It won’t stop until you make it stop.

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