Ask Toi: If he’s not Prince Charming than what?

That’s a question you need to ask and answer for yourself.  What does prince charming look like for you?  To some it based upon more physical attributes than anything else. You have to think and know what you want.  Knowing what you want from a mate is hugely important.  I know often times we don’t spend enough time with ourselves to know us before we jump into adding others to you.

Prince Charming on movies has always been Mr. Super Handsome who comes in and does things that most men before have not.  They come in and they say the things that seem right.  The issue with Prince Charming is that some men and women for that matter know how to put on a great performance before you get to see the real them.  Like my mom would say all actors have to lay their part down at some point.  So I would say if you are seeing something that sets off a red flag in you and you do not want to proceed, do not ignore that feeling.  Often times we start putting things on a scale.  We see a very bad red flag and instead of accepting it we start finding 2 or more attributes to cancel out the red flag.  Just a little nugget, that red flag alerted you for a reason.  Do NOT ever ignore it.  It will be the very thing that will come and bite you in the butt later.  I would challenge your red flag if you need more of a supportive answer.  You can do things by asking follow-up questions or simply note it and pay attention to the actions. Beyond words, actions are the tale tales of what a person is capable.  It’s like my mom would say if they lie about not getting your nails done they will lie about something else.  That doesn’t mean I as a woman can’t get my own nails done.  The principle is if they start dropping the ball on superficial things what will they do later on the important things?  That’s the kicker. Watch and weigh it out in your mind and heart.  If there are very definitive red flags its better to know now than to go down the line wasting more heartache, and time. Lastly ask yourself one question.  If this flaw NEVER changes can you hang in there?  Women, we can’t change a man.  Stop this I can influence him to do right by me.  Why do YOU have to influence him?  If he wants to change than he would no more than you doing the same on some of the issues he may have of you.  People have wills and you will NEVER go past that.

Good luck to you and not so Prince Charming!

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