I want every lady to hear me. I need you to hear me loud and clear this morning. We as ladies have to have respect for ourselves. I had a discussion with my husband and we talked about the male and female ratio. We know that women for the most part out number men. However just because of those numbers doesn’t give a man a right to disrespect women and settle or put up with foolishness either. Think about that for a second. You are a woman who is waiting on Mr. Right but instead Mr. Right Now comes and wants to ask you to do things that you aren’t comfortable with just because he thinks he can.
I in my own young life have done things to disrespect myself. Let’s keep it all the way 100. I can’t blame relationships, situationships or down right just doing things that were disrespected myself on others. I can take my L where the L is needed. However think about all of the times I turned down the foolishness too. I know for women we all have been approached in less than honorable ways from co-workers, bosses, the man cat calling us on the corner, etc. Women are constantly having to make someone respect our NO. In the last years it’s getting out of hand that you can turn down a man’s advancement and get killed. I think about all of the times someone grabbed my hand or my butt and because I spoke up for myself and said NO I could have been hurt or even killed. It scares me as a mother because the reality is that I am teaching my daughters to be confident and direct.
I had men do some things in my time. I had a male boss tell me that the only way I would get ahead is if I sucked his dick. Now let me just say for all you too churchy folks that I have reading this blog I will never sugar coat a thing. If you looking for a flower blog this ain’t one. The thought that ran in my head is my education, my long nights, my hard work and it comes down to sucking dick to get ahead? Naw I will pass. I could have just went with the flow. However what wouldn’t have gotten me-nothing. Any waves I make in my career won’t be gotten by short cuts, feel ups, or knee pads. I know there are women forced in these situations every day. But before I get on my knees I will quit a job. Before I lower myself and have a random man’s penis in my face let alone in my mouth I will be on welfare before I take that kind of L.
Men think that because statistically they make more money than most women they can literally sexually black mail women to get anything from us. The only way it stops if we put aside the superficial benefit and understand that everything cost. I had a friend who had a relationship with her boss. She had to come running into his office anytime he called. It got so bad he would show up at her house unannounced. The issue was that you will never pay that type of debt in full. The more you do the more they want. It’s much harder to get out of these types of things. The same way you were offered raises, and cash to get into it you end up paying with your dignity and sometimes life to get out. She had to start filming him doing things, saying things, etc. Even then the humility to admit that she once did these and consenting was embarrassment enough.
I have a few friends who struggle to make ends meet. They are on the cusp of pushing to do the basics. However one thing I learned from the strong women in my family that life with struggle is better than life with handouts any day. But on the flip of that keep in mind that you better know that man you entertain as well. It don’t have to be some horned up boss that disrespect you. It could be the one you lay up with and the one you feed as well. These boyfriends and husbands aren’t always loyal. Women can and are raped and forced to do sexual favors from the men they trust the most. Anything that is done that doesn’t make you comfortable should stop. I know we hear as women that when you get married you are supposed to be freaks in the bedroom. You are supposed to always be on. However its more important to have a connection and relationship built on mutual respect even in the bedroom. As a wife no husband should be asking for sexual acts and favors under the guidance that we are married especially if the wife doesn’t feel comfortable doing them. I’m sorry every sex trick ain’t for everybody. Why as a husband can you see the fear on your wife’s face and be okay with that as long as you get your release? Where do you as a husband or boyfriend feel the need to push this mess on the women you claim you are here to protect. Women aren’t blow up dolls. If you want one of those to manipulate and do whatever you want, than go and get you one. Your bedroom should consists of both consenting adults and not just consenting only on the strength because of title or so you as a husband or wife won’t stray. I have said it before an I will say it again, you can’t hold a man’s dick in your hand. You can’t stop him from doing what is in him to do.
Respect for women needs to return. The things I see men post about women disgust me. These boyfriends and husbands will disrespect you quick if you allow it. Do NOT allow anyone to disrespect you. Do not take an advancement for sexual favors. Do not allow someone to tell you what you can’t get accomplished just because you won’t do either. There are women in other countries who don’t even have a simple voice. Why in the United States do we allow the same thing in our homes or at our place of workplace? Oh and let me say to my socially woke folks as well, you can’t be woke and disrespect women. Sorry you can’t wake and sleep to what you want and call yourself woke. I saw a man on Facebook make a statement about women and then say he wants us to be respected. How Sway? How can that happen when you contradict yourself. I spoke up and he told me that he meant that for the women who look good. Oh so respect is only earned if a women’s heels are of a certain length? Or let me guess, if her skirt is of a certain length as well? Nope not only did I unsubscribe to his foolishness but that is not the man I want in my circle or one that will have the opportunity to be around one of my daughters. A man’s arrogance will never be an excuse for the crap he deals. I am learning now that arrogant men and I do not click well. Ladies let’s end this on all levels. Stop the foolishness you allow and kick a knee pad before you allow yourself to be degraded.