National Coming Out Day

So today is the day.  The day where people either come out or the ones who come out share their stories of how it was when they did.  Come out from what?  Come out and let the ones that they love know that they are gay.  Clutch your pearls church mothers this is a thing now.

Many people do not like or agree with the lifestyle.  That is a choice.  But one thing I do know is that it is people’s choice to do so.  I have always been a firm believer that people have wills.  If they want to do something they will do so.  I can’t tell people how to live their lives no more than someone telling me how to live mine.  People will do as they seem fit.  So if a person feels compelled to accept that they are gay, than so be it.  I think the folks that do not agree with it have to understand one thing, its not your life to dictate. Let’s say for the sake of my Christian upbringing that the gay lifestyle is wrong and will send those who engage in it to the worst part of hell, its still their choice to go.  Let me also state that we here on Earth put sin on certain levels.  I am a firm believer that there aren’t.  I still have levels to the sins that offend me more than others but at the end of the day its all one in the same.  If I am sitting at my desk over eating snacks I shouldn’t have that is no different than any other sin.  Now before my gay and lesbian community come at me with pitch forks I am simply making the statement on the basis of what I was taught as a child about what is sin.

I myself had 2 kids out of wedlock.  Let me guess I am okay but the man who is sleeping with another man is doomed to hell.  Doesn’t really work that way.  I can’t say enough how we ALL have personal decisions to make.  I personally love my husband and don’t see myself cheating on him nor engaging in a lesbian lifestyle.  However I can’t say who is supposed to be in another person’s bed because quiet as its kept it could be argued I may not be with the right one. I have a cousin who came out a little over a year ago.  I had an idea that he was gay.  It wasn’t my place.  I loved him and still was the same and still am the same towards him.  I can’t say his experience with others around him was the same.  It actually was the complete opposite.  The same ones pointing their fingers too had skeletons in their closets.  They too had done some things that wasn’t agreed upon from the Church mother’s board.  How could they have shown him love?  Accept that its his choice to make.  Accept him and treat him the same.  That is the lesson.  Especially in this day and age now where we want to shout about race and inequality but the same ones in the pulpits leading this talk don’t practice it when its convenient especially with the gay and lesbian community.  That’s backwards and hypocritical.  Yes I said it and anyone who knows me knows I believe it.  What someone else eats don’t make you fat.  Learn to say hey, that’s their life but I love the person.  It doesn’t mean you have to shun them, don’t invite people over anymore, stay away, etc.  It just means learning to have a heart for the person past the sin you don’t want to accept.  Remember you probably have a few known and unknown that others don’t like but they still accept you.

It got worst when my cousin not only came out but announced that he was marrying the man he fell in love with.  You would have thought bombs were being dropped and it wasn’t.  It was simply him making up in his mind that his happiness was more important than what the whispers were going to be.  It hurt me to see the people that I actually respected and loved to be so mean.  I truly understood what they were feeling.  I have been in the church my whole life.  But for me I was willing to put past that to understand my cousin who is like a brother just needed someone to be big enough to step out and still show love.  I pray that if the world is against him and he and I die that he will know that I love him with all of my heart no more than my other siblings.  No more than any other person.  Love covers a multitude of sin.  Yes that word again.  Again I have to address it because that is what most people stand on as their reasoning to discriminate.  Gasp that’s discrimination?  Yes it is.  Love people and let people be who they are and want to be.

I have nothing but respect for my cousin. Coming out is hard.  But so is the death toll that many gay and lesbians face because coming out and being shunned is more than many can bear and tragically many end their lives.  I know that my cousin battled that thought between being him and what others thought for years.  I treated him how I would have wanted to be treated.  I too have done and will most likely do things that would come off as dishonorable or wrong or just plain old something I wanted and no one agreed and I would want someone to still go to the movies with.  I would want someone to invite me to the party and not whisper behind my back.  You don’t have to accept someone’s lifestyle to love them and still enjoy them.  You don’t have to make another person’s gay or lesbian lifestyle run off on you.  It’s not a cold or a disease that will pass.  It’s a person’s choice to love who they want to love and not have to hide or be a puppet for others to want to be around.

To those who come out I wish you nothing but safety and love.  That is the two main things that keep people going. It should be called National Day of Acceptance.  Accept even if you don’t like what someone is becoming.  You can still love the person because at the end of the day, what someone eats don’t make you fat.  Their lifestyle is not like hot wax and will not rub on you.  People have asked me what do I tell my kids about their cousin who they absolutely love.  I tell them that is their cousin and their cousin’s husband.  I tell them that some men and women have chosen to love each other and marry of the same sex.  I tell them that of course mommy and daddy love each other and that although that wasn’t our choice its still was a choice and we still love and honor everyone’s ability to choose.  I don’t say things like that’s gross.  I don’t grab my kids tightly like a gay or lesbian person is going to snatch them.  I just simply live a life that shows my kids how to treat others different than them.  See I don’t raise my kids for my own selfishness.  The world they live in is changing.  From the way they interact with the police to how we use technology.  As a parent I need to prepare them not scare them into what to expect.  It’s my and my husband’s job to make them ready for when God forbid we aren’t here.  We need to make them apart of society so that they know how to get done what they need to do.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.