I love blogging let me say that right now. I really do but and there is always a but that blogging brings up a lot of things. For me it’s so easy to just start writing or typing. It’s like a safe haven. I can be anything I want to be in the moment. One of the drawbacks of blogging is people.
Is it me you are talking about?
For the most part I get good feedback. Feedback that is good is both criticism as well as pats on backs. The part I struggle with is people who will read your blog and interpret that everything I write is about them. How I was raised is that if the shoe fits than wear it. If it don’t apply let it fly. Some folks are super sensitive. I had someone write to me asking me if my husband gets upset if I talk about relationships. My response is why would he be? I don’t type or write anything that I can’t stand on. Meaning if I wrote it I don’t back pedal. My husband has been super supportive of my blog and ALL of the pieces. I am grateful so to my readers know that I am good.
I made it clear to my close friends that if I talk to them about something and I get the blogging itch I will blog. However I have always kept people’s identity secure as I would want someone to do for me. I try to focus on myself. Even in relationship talk there’s always a message of how something that went down helped me to be a better partner. Listen if you are in a relationship with a blogger, please know that anything will inspire them to write. I make it my business to force a blog because of that very reason. I am not out to blow up folks spots. That’s not my thing. I have enough going on to talk about me and something that I learned to seek out trying to blog about one person in particular.
Being Too Direct
One of the reasons I blog so directly is because its better for me. I can’t write a super cheesy blog because that’s not how I am in real life or at least all the time. If someone asked me a question I would be as blunt as I needed to be. So when I say things like “you can’t hold a man’s penis” it’s not that I am trying to be rude or crude but it’s the reality of the situation. I guess I could have said “if a man is going to cheat he will,” but that’s not how I was raised. I would rather get to the meat and potatoes of a situation than to be overly politically correct all the time. There are women who are trying to hold their man’s penis and that same man is still finding ways to have sex with other women married and unmarried. How can you be politically correct about that? What will you gain? I am not interested in getting so many likes that I am not going to be me. It’s not going to happen. I sit with my parents and if they are talking they don’t mince words. Everything in life can’t be sugar-coated and dressed the way you want to hear it. Sometimes when you’re in the midst of hard realities you need someone to tell it like it is.
Last week I was talking to my mom and we were talking about Iyanla and how much of an appeal she has to million of viewers. I love her work. However the reality is if half of the parents would have talked to their kids in a matter of fact way, many of them would be in different places in life. I lived with a straight shooter. That didn’t stop me from getting into things but I can’t also say I didn’t know either. My parents then and now are strong voices of reason. Iyanla was in my house way before I even knew who she was. Steve Harvey was in my life way before he became a household name. We give so much credit to these straight talkers because we lack it.
Religion, Politics, and Kids
These are the most 3 stay away from topics in blogging that can present issues. You take a stand on one leader especially in this particular election and you can lose a dozen followers. Let’s think about this in another way. As a parent there is no wrong or right way outside of abuse. So if I think a child shouldn’t have a pacifier at the age 5 and another one than insert judgement. When you are blogging about these topics be clear on where you stand. Don’t even begin to be a blogger if you need someone to affirm your every post. There are times when my post seems to be hitting off the charts and some where they aren’t. I am not into it to get likes to the point where I need to water down my message. We all want to feel accepted. I am okay with being me. I make stands when I feel strongly about a topic. I say what works for me when dealing with my own kids. My kids have different personalities I can’t even parent them the same but show them as much love across the board. That is how blogging is. One person will like it and some of the others won’t. Some of the ones that won’t like it or you because they don’t like you in real life. You win some and you lose some, Kanye shrug all the way around. Either way you have to keep breathing and keep writing.
Respect and Like isn’t the same
Last week I had someone write me from a vampire account as I like to call it to tell me that they didn’t like me but they respected what I said in one of my blogs. I thought how lovely for you to take time out of your schedule to make sure that you told me that you didn’t like me. It wasn’t just to say girl I respects you and yes I meant that s on the end. My thought is if you really wanted me to know that you didn’t like me you could have been direct but this is where I live and behind screens is where most live. Blogging isn’t for everyone. Blogging works for me and I enjoy it. Not everyone likes me in real life either even the ones I make sure I have zero contact but at the end of the day unless I hear differently they are still breathing and so am I. You have to learn that in life. Likes are great but likes ain’t life. Likes aren’t power coins of energy. You can not live off of likes alone. Learn to like yourself and then when you encounter someone who doesn’t like you just simple move right along.
You have to have your own flavor. You are going to come across some awesome other bloggers who have their own vision for what they see and how they write. There is room for us all. Never compare yourself to another blogger. Never try to duplicate their magic. You have no idea what someone had to live to get to the point where they are. Like the one blog where I talk about the 5 years of struggle when I moved to Philadelphia, you can’t mimic that. That blog can from a place of hurt and pain that unless you are me you can’t tap into it. You have to own your words, your style, and your method on your own. So do not attempt to magic trick blogging. It will come out. Be you and know that being you is WAY more than enough. Then when you are done, tootsie roll and take a bow. Later for folks….