By Any Means Necessary…

I used to seriously judge other women.  Gasp.  Yes little ole me.  My judgement had a lot to do with the non traditional ways that women have made their living.  What I mean about that is things like prostitution, marrying men they don’t love for money, or any other from that women feel as if they have to do the most to just simply survive.

I had a conversation about what I was feeling with my husband.  It wasn’t a good conversation at first.  He and I debated about basically it boils down for some women the right position that they end up in.  And yes I meant for that pun.  I know for a fact that there are women who have to go low to get bills paid, comfortability whatever.  I was one that would snub my nose at them.  Now there is a flip to this that will always remain. When you know better, you do better.  If all you know is knee pads it can make things difficult for you to see a better way.  I didn’t impossible, but difficult.  However when you know that you can elevate your mind and reach to higher destinations than you got to at least try.

Do some women elevate their mind while shaking what they momma gave them? Absolutely.  It happens.  I can’t say I have because I haven’t one, two I no longer have the body to drop it like it’s hot for cold cash, and three I don’t have the confidence to shake and bear it all for random men.  However in hard times I have contemplated grabbing my clear shoes, dusting them bad boys off and getting down.  Yes I have given it much thought.  Fast money always seems like a no brainer when there is no money coming in but then I had to think about out my kids, my husband, and my friends and think girl stop playing and get to work.

Women have changed what they deem as any means necessary.  I have a friend who used to work for a former boss.  I actually know of two women who did this. They ended up joining the armed forces not because they just loved America, but a large part had to do with financial compensation.  The one I speak to often and she just was tired of doing penny jobs, getting passed up by others who had a penis in between their legs, etc to make ends meet just to make sure her son was good.  I know from my dad being in the military being a women in the military is far from a cake walk but it is an alternative to glitter shoes and baby powder legs to go down the pole.

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I had another friend who went a different path and go into construction that for one time was dominated by men to make ends meet. She too had a college education and extremely bright but needed to be able to not have her paycheck not only go towards daycare.  I know her struggle well.  On my own I basically paying for my kids to be away from me minus my oldest education.  That is really disheartening to me. I have extreme anger on payday often times.  I think of the single women who this is their reality.  The only difference is I have my husband who off sets what I put out.  So can I see why women are taking their direction and going for well off men in exchange for financial security.  I am not high fiving them, holding a poster up for women to do this, but I can understand it.

Are there women doing it all on their own who don’t need a man?  Of course but unless they are well-rounded, and see more to life than their paychecks, they can come off as bitter.  Note: not all women are bitter before you grab your pitchforks.  Women can do anything we put our minds to but often times we have to work doubly hard to get there. Why are men seemingly to excel?  This world was made for them to.  Above race women are at the bottom of the pool. We take care of everything and can multitask our asses off but when it comes to compensation, recognition we have to prove it.

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So for every women who is out here working hard, getting turned down because you sit down to pee, God forbid you are a mom and are questioned further if you can cut it and be all you can be at home, or passed up because “they” think you are too or will be too emotional and can’t cut it in this man’s world, just learn to smile and succeed anyway.  No one works harder than women.  I know that sounds so biased but let me tell you.

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I work a full-time job and always have my mommy hat on.  If a child gets sick, they call me not my husband first. If there is someone to stay home we end up playing Russian Roulette because isn’t that what a mommy does?  I am a chef, a director, a counselor, a mediator, a doctor, and sometimes a lawyer on any day and I get paid pennies to the dollar because that’s what my family needs.  I have dreams and I pursue them but if you are a woman and especially a mother you know that means late nights, and early mornings.  You got to pave the way in silence sometimes but the reason I won’t stop is that I have 2 daughters who are depending on my push.  They are depending on my stand.  They are depending on me to move like a boss.  Oh and by the way my son is depending on me too.  He needs to see that his mom can do anything.  I need him to find a go getter when its time.  Someone who loves him but doesn’t need him.  Someone with some work ethic that if he gets hurt she can keep on pushing and take care of him too.  I know for a fact that I can wear whatever and do whatever and get it done and still be fulfilled because that is the goal.

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For those reading thinking why can’t her husband do more?  Mine does.  He stays home when he needs to, gives baths, but guess what?  A great man isn’t a mind reader. You have to ask for help.  I can be super woman and be tired as hell and need me a bath/shower and not feel like doing half the things I have to do.  It doesn’t take away from my mother or womanhood to ask.  It takes nothing away to say I need help or I am drained and tapped out.  You too need to get that.  By any means necessary also includes some self-love and care.  It includes stepping out your comfort zone and doing what is necessary.  It is making sure that you work hard and keep revising your plan often.

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