So every last relationship on this planet is different. Not one is the same no matter how many similarities may exist. So my thing is that women do NOT need to be married. I know men are measured by their careers and women by their relationship status but this is crazy. The number of spiritual ceremonies and fake marriages is getting out of hand.
Now let me tell you where this is coming from. I read a blog that stated that Yandy and Mandeecees from Love and Hip Hop New York after the lavish wedding they had on national television is actually not real. I don’t know if it is or not but let’s say for argument sake it’s not. I don’t get the point. It’s technically not my point to get but let’s draw on a few things.
Do we have to have these fake marriages? It’s one thing if you have a spiritual ceremony and everyone knows hey we don’t want the necessary papers but we doing this because it feels right. The other flip is to attempt to make it appear that you are indeed married when you are not. Like what are you proving to others? I have never felt the need to do things for an audience. Like for instance the terms wifey and hubby irks the hell out of me. I know its cute to say but let’s keep it real. There are a number of couples that believe in their little hearts that they are that man’s wifey when in reality you are indeed not. You are a girlfriend that likes pet names. I don’t mean to burst your bubble but that’s how it works. Let’s give a scenario, you are in an accident and your “hubby” dies, you are not the one they seek to make decisions . Sorry you are not. They are looking for next of kin. Bummer all that hubby talk doesn’t give you legal rights unless you were smart enough to get power of attorney and other legal documents lined up.
I love when I hear people say they don’t care about a piece of paper but be the same ones posting memes about how men get licenses for their dogs and won’t do the same for their relationships while laying next to their “hubby.” If you don’t want to be married than so be it. It’s not for everyone. I can respect it. I am married and I don’t ever paint this happily ever picture like I lay in bed of roses and balloons all day. Marriage is work and not everyone is cut to make it work. So stand by it. Please stop sending out messages to people to make it appear that your relationship is more than it needs to be and then want people to respect you as such. Just stop. Now Yandy and Mandeece may decide to be married after his stint in jail is over. Business wise it makes sense but it poses a very important question. If you can’t fully take on your mate’s issues on paper because it will cost you than what does it show you about the cost of your relationship for real. Like I get it. Legally Yandy would be held liable for paying back his fines and cost possibly for the financial responsible for his kids too. However they paint this picture like she is more than able and wants to take on his kids. I can’t wait to see how this comes out.
As a woman who want to be a boss, can you just be in a relationship and satisfied or have you already given into the societies desire for you to be married so faking it gets others off your back? It in all reality says you love a man but at the end of the day legally you are no different from any other woman in that man’s life. I am sure she has gotten her paperwork in order that if she needed to take care of his affairs she can, but for the average woman how long you gonna play house if you really want to be a permanent house mate? This isn’t for the women who swear off men and would NEVER marry. This is the ones that lie to themselves and are just okay to be entangled with a man. This is for the woman who is marriage hungry to take on a man’s name. Be smart. Find out what works for you and stick to it. But stop the lies. Stop lying to yourself as if you are more to that man than the pretty picture he has painted. He just wants that milk for free and is “trying to get his shit together.” How long that takes? Let me guess its 10 years and you are crying inside and lying to your mom and girlfriend just like he lies to you. You want marriage but don’t want to rock the boat or “hubby” will leave. You better get in your own spirit what you want and take the fake mask off. If you want marriage, make sure is for YOUR right reasons. However don’t waste a quarter on a fake ceremony. I have said it before and I will say it again if it’s a ring you want, buy yourself one. Do NOT however stop feeding a bunch of lies about that paper you really do want. Be smart. Be honest. Be clear.
Women shouldn’t have to fake it in 2 places and that’s the bedroom and to an audience of folks who could care less. Speak up about what you need in and out of the bedroom. Too many woman having to fake a lot of things and let with empty shells and dry sheets. Do better.