Ask Toi: How do I resolve an argument with my husband regarding holiday traditions?

Simple. When you are married you both are coming from 2 different backgrounds. Even if you have similar backgrounds, the way you are both used to things will be different. 

Find out what means the most to the both of you.  Try to incorporate them into your new life as well as make up a few new traditions together. My husband is Catholic and I am more Baptist but in my later years I went to a non denominational church.  We both have the same core values but when the holidays come along the way we worship is greatly visible. 

I don’t go to church or mass at midnight like he grew up doing but I wrap gifts and wait up for him and we have a glass of wine and talk about how grateful we both are of each other and our family. So the new is the wine and talk mixed with his old of attending mass and Christmas day we hang with my family.

Also I like to do just about every Christmas cliché thing to be done.  It’s just how I am.  My husband is more laid back.  He however indulges in what I like and often times he purchases whatever I want to make it happen. We play the chipmunks Christmas CD that is to us both the signal that Christmas is here. Again instead of one trying to overtake and get all of their wants met, we compromise. There has to be give and take. 

Find a middle ground. No need to make the holidays more stressed than they need to be.  You two got married to walk through life. Sometimes life is complicated and has disagreements. Make the best of it and enjoy both of your loves during the holidays. The important things that mean so much to you both should be celebrated. Enjoy each other.  Remember there is someone who would love the portion of even having a mate to argue over egg nog vs. hot chocolate. 


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