So let me make my disclaimer early. This is not to be used to have a bunch of friends texting, emailing, or calling me to find out what they may or may not have done. If it don’t apply let it fly. But in general there is always a few friends you have to fall back from. Like seriously do some matrix type stuff from. They are always so super self-absorbed to give two damns about what is going on in your life but have the laundry list of things to tell you about theirs. Some of these I like to call lazy asses. I know this isn’t the language you are expected but let’s be real, we all know a few of them and to be honest there really isn’t a better way to describe.
Real friends bend over backwards for one another. That means the tables don’t always tilt one way or another all the time. Depending on the way life sets your or your friend’s life, things can go any way it needs to be. These are friends who are tried and true. The ones you don’t have to speak to for months and you can pick up as if nothing ever happened. Then insert the lazy ones. You either hear from them all the time or never. They haven’t proven to be anything but miserable people to begin with. They don’t ever have nothing good going on in their lives. You think my God you mean even if its been months nothing has gone your way? Yes sadly some people draw the attraction of drama into their lives. I used to be a lazy ass friend and a lazy ass period when it came to others so I know what I am talking about. The issue isn’t being a lazy ass its in changing it.
How would you like to have someone flaked on your ALL the time? To have someone always telling you how miserable they are as a person and you have to endure countless hours of foolishness? Oh not so much. This isn’t appealing. It’s not what you signed up for? Oh my bad. Yes life sucks. I too have been hit a few million times but to be honest no one wants to be the friend of a Debbie Downer. It’s actually draining. If they say to inspect the friends you have and that the company you keep speaks volumes, than we all need to do some self inspection. You know why the memes friend goals is such a thing, it’s because we aren’t used to having dope friends around us. I have a group of associates and these girls come together and keep each other in their lives. They do holidays, they take trips, they talk to each other and generally like each other. They are single, some married, some with kids, some with demanding careers, but no matter what they are there. If you look at your friends and can’t say they are dope something is wrong with you. A lot of my friends don’t live in the same city. We talk all the time. We catch up. We make time. We send cards to each other to encourage each other. We conference call and are active. They traveled states to be with me and my husband when his mother passed. They made food. They were there.
Family can’t be chosen. I have tried but I keep coming up short in the prayer department to replace a few of them. However with friendships it’s a personal choice. You personally chose Debbie Downer to be someone you can confide in. How does that work? Debbie Downers usually won’t even have a compliment to give. They tear themselves down so how much more you? You say you are pregnant and they say good for you I wouldn’t want to have a child with your sorry husband. You say you got a new job and they say well it’s not mine. If you are a Debbie Downer please listen up there is hope but YOU have to want to change. When someone is telling you of their accomplishments let them have their moments. Friends don’t try to steal the spotlight. They let you have your own and truly celebrate YOU. They don’t bring you down or try to compete. A friend is a support system. If you can’t be relied on in good and bad times than do NOT be mad when you get cut off. I have had to cut a few friends off. They weren’t real friends or their time in my life had expired. Everyone isn’t meant a permanent ride in your life and it doesn’t matter that you have known them your whole life.
So the question becomes is your friend in a different season but overall is a good friend then a simple conversation and change can take place. Good friends can admit where they are wrong and move forward. You will know if friend is a bad friend because the second you talk to them, they will confrontational. They will tell you if I am no good for you than bye. Really? Yes. This friend’s expiration date has already ran out. The writing has been on the wall. It’s time to clear out who you call friends this year. You will find that negative energy costs too much to maintain anyway. Get rid of it no matter what form it comes in.