Insomnia, ToiTime’s Way: Valentines Warning

Okay picture this it was 2005 and I had been out of college for a few years.  So I had met my Mr. Right Now and he had me in an outer body experience.  I hadn’t introduced him to my family.  I kept a low profile.  We had been dating for a little while.  He was the exact mix of man I liked.  He was spiritual, handsome, strong, could be casual and his suits well that’s how he got me.  He smelled good, he opened doors, he had the right amount of hood in him and he was around my age.  He could talk about the Lord but wasn’t too churchy not to have a drink and cut a rug.  He was just everything….then.

So he wined and dined me.  I kept him as a low profile but I felt like he had that potential I needed in my mid 20’s.  I kept my options open.  Why not? He and I were casual in this.  Well Valentines day is coming around.  He made plans for us.  I am intrigued because reality is I didn’t know if I was going to have to meet up with friends, hang with my favorite cousin, or get asked out by a new guy.  I know what you ae thinking?  This heifer out here juggling two men and I can’t even get one.  Not so much.  You can get who you want but I was about to juggle two men.  I was single.  That is what single folks do.

However after a wonderful night with Mr. Right Now he takes me home.  Nothing but a simple kiss is exchanged.  Nothing.  I got questions because after the back and forth something should have went down.  But it doesn’t.  Sorry momma.  So I change my clothes.  I call a cousin.  My cousin agrees to meet me and we go to a bar.  I decided let me throw on some flats.  I run into Mr. Right Now but he doesn’t see me.  There he is with his ex.  Now he don’t owe me an explanation, he’s free to do him.  BUT in my 20s I wasn’t set up like that.  So I see a guy I knew and told him I needed him to walk to the bar and basically get me a drink. Why?  I didn’t want Mr. Right Now to see me.  So he gets me that drink.  I am sipping and basically if Uber had been in business than I would have needed their services.  My cousin is just as toasty as I am. I send a text.  I get a response that he is at home. Que? Naw son you across the bar.  So I am on the most stalker type at this point.  It was  bad.  It wasn’t until the next day as I had to call off since I was up ALL night that I realized, one I had fallen hard for Mr. Right Now, I could work for the CIA, or the reality is that Mr. Right Now was just that.  So I get a call from Mr. Right Now and he tells me he wants to be more than casual friends.  The time from my stalking night was about a week. In that week I found out a few lies that my gut knew wasn’t right. I wont get into all the details but trust and believe I had pretty much believed in the mirage and smoke screen I was being shown.  I hadn’t asked the right question.  The woman Mr. Right Now was with wasn’t his ex, it was his wife.  I dodged a bullet.  I wasn’t unattractive, he just wasn’t fully able to commit when he hadn’t learned to commit to his wife.

He played all the right cards.  He knew what he was doing.  He appealed to what I wanted.  He had the right shell but he wasn’t for me.  This Valentine’s Day don’t be fooled by Mr. Right Now.  They come with flowers and trinkets.  They come with bells and whistles.  He made it look as if I was the main chick and told “his” truth.  He wasn’t ready for a committed relationship.  He didn’t make the one he was in work either.  It’s not worth a night of insomnia wondering, stalking, having a wet behind from uncommitted sex, or the stress of trying to lock down someone when the one who is for you, will never play you, make you look crazy, or make you wonder where you stand.  Don’t play the fool.

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