Being passive aggressive in your personality only serves YOU. Think about it, passive aggressiveness is the ability to avoid confrontation. So this is the type that will say little slick things out of their mouth, will indirectly snub a person or just dance around the issue because they want to save face or they don’t like to deal with the consequences if they would just be direct. They know if they are direct that they will have to put it all on the table but they want to dance along things to keep things brewing. Do NOT ever let this personality type get under your skin.
This personality type have themselves believe that if they were direct that they “would hurt someone’s feeling.” However that isn’t the truth. Most adults being adults should be able to hear the words no and adjust. This starts from childhood. So withholding yourself back like you’re in a fight but can’t fight shows lack of maturity. Being direct would stop and end a lot of unnecessary back and forth. Passive aggressive personalities actually keep things going. Let me explain how:
- It’s like being bumped by “accident” but scared the person who you bumped won’t call you out. You will know if you are dealing with a passive aggressive personality because they will jump bad but then revert to the “I was just joking” phrase to act as if what they just said they didn’t mean. Trust me they meant it but they don’t want you to take them serious because they will have to deal with the outcome of their actions.
- When dealing with a passive aggressive person they will continue to under cut you just to see if you will respond. When you don’t it doesn’t make them stop. They will continue to poke the bear until they get a response. Continue to not respond. Trust me they need that to irritate themselves. Don’t let them irritate you.
- They are nice/nasty. They will say things in a nice mean way to on paper appear that they are being nice but reality they are trying to under cut. Smile at them and let them know you will have a good day. Passive aggressive people are actually mad at themselves for not being bold and if they catch on that you see it too, they will get even more upset.
Passive aggressive people do not like bold people. They come off as shy but they are the ones that have to feel “pushed” to speak up. They wait for you to tick them off because they need justification to be adults and speak up. Learn to spot them, mark them mentally and always make sure you are clear. You don’t have to allow a person’s passive aggressive behavior to make you upset in any way. Passive aggressive avoid in a lot of areas too not just a one on one with others.
Oh the biggest passive aggressive sign is indirect posts on social media. These folks will ever speak to the person (s) they have issues but they will hit them with a meme. Stop. Don’t fall into this and then respond. Let this adult act childish and learn to move on. Reality is they are just not sure how to speak up, don’t want to, or just like drama. Either way they are not serving anything of value in your life and you will live if you didn’t have that type of back and forth going on.
I have had plenty of passive aggressive people who I have had to deal with it and when I ask them directly what is the issue the first response is there’s nothing wrong. They are right there isn’t anything wrong with how they choose to conduct themselves because they want to hide. However with my direct personality I would rather just end the back and forth and talk. Most passive aggressive folks want to hide. My response to this situation when I hear an undercut is that until something is brought to my attention from the source, all is fine. I do not care if I hear about a person’s issues from a 3rd party.